An idea is swirling around in my mind but I think it’s a little crazy. It’s a lot crazy, actually, but something in my heart is telling me it’s the right thing to do.

“You gotta talk to me, love. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

He always knows. Part of me wants to revert to my old ways of trying to handle everything myself, but I know that’s not the right way to handle things anymore. I need Kai by my side if I’m going to do this, and that’s okay to admit. “I think I need to go see my mom.”

I can tell my answer shocks him, but he nods as if he’s already on board. “You know where she is?”

“I looked her up a long time ago; I just never went to see her. She took her maiden name back but she legally changed her name from Beverly to Jennifer. Jennifer Watkins. She’s not dancing or singing anymore, but she still works on Broadway as a choreographer.”

“Okay.”

“Okay? That’s it?”

“You say this is what you need so this is what we’ll do. Let’s go.” He makes it seem so easy and for him maybe it is. For me, I don’t think I’ll breathe until this is over.

We pack our bags and call the crew to let them know our plan. They offer to come with us but I insist that they stay. They’ll take Tyson’s plane back home while Kai and I take a rental car and drive up to New York. We’ll fly back from there.

The five-hour drive up to New York gives me too much time to think of what I’ll say to my mom when I see her. Will she even recognize me? She hasn’t seen me since I was twelve. I don’t even know what I want from her, but I just feel if I’m going to take my father head-on that she might have some insight she can offer me. His obsession with me started with his obsession of getting her back, so maybe I can even get her to talk to him or something. I don’t know. I have no idea what I’m doing.