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Back Until I Find You Save as PDF
Chapters (60)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. 33
  38. 34
  39. 35
  40. 36
  41. 37
  42. 38
  43. 39
  44. 40
  45. 41
  46. 42
  47. 43
  48. 44
  49. 45
  50. 46
  51. 47
  52. 48
  53. 49
  54. 50
  55. EPILOGUE
  56. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  57. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  58. Also by Rea Frey
  59. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  60. Newsletter Sign-up

I nod and crawl into bed. My eyes close, drift open, and close again. Crystal sits behind me and strokes my hair, just like she did earlier today. Was that today? That feels like years ago. I wait for her to say something, to tell me some story of perseverance or resilience, but she doesn’t. Instead, she lets me sit with my thoughts. We stay like that for quite some time, until I fall asleep.

43

BEC

A sharp knock on the front door wakes me.

My mouth is dry. My eyes flutter open. “Crystal?” I feel around on the bed, but she’s not there. I rub a hand over my face and wait. There it is again, knuckles on hard wood. “Coming,” I mumble to no one. Downstairs, the doorknob jiggles impatiently. A week ago, I would have been hiding in my closet. Now, I don’t care. If I’m not protecting Jackson, then what does it matter?

I take the first step.

I’m not Chris’s wife.

Another step.

I’m not my mother’s daughter.

A few more in socked feet. I strangle the banister, not wanting to repeat my fall.

I’m not Jackson’s mother.

At the landing, I unlock the door. Crystal must have locked it for me on her way out. I open it.

“Hey. Did I wake you?”

I turn away from Jake and walk down the hallway. I’m suddenly overcome with those early days when I was losing my sight. I’d stand at the end of hallways, capsized with fear about smacking face-first into a wall. That happened more times than I could count. It was like flipping the lights out in a room you’d been in a thousand times, and then suddenly, you were uncertain about everything.

Now, I’m certain of my steps and uncertain of everything else.

I stop in the kitchen. It’s amazing how many hours of my life I’ve spent memorizing angles, so I don’t make a fool of myself. So that I am capable. I use my affinity for math to calculate risk, and yet, look at where it’s gotten me. I’m not like everyone else. I never was.

I fold my arms across my aching chest. “What’s going on?”

“Alert is issued. Fielding calls.”

I wait for more. “You know, I’m so sick of this babying act, Jake. I’m so sick of being treated like a fragile flower that will wither and die. I can handle the hard stuff, because it’s my life. And regardless of what anyone believes, I was right.”

“You were right.”

A stab of longing hits me just below the heart. “Did they take him?”

“They did. Until they can get this sorted out.”

“What’s there to sort out?”

He groans, barely audible. “Everything.”