BooksBarbecue
Back Until I Find You Save as PDF
Chapters (60)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. 33
  38. 34
  39. 35
  40. 36
  41. 37
  42. 38
  43. 39
  44. 40
  45. 41
  46. 42
  47. 43
  48. 44
  49. 45
  50. 46
  51. 47
  52. 48
  53. 49
  54. 50
  55. EPILOGUE
  56. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  57. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  58. Also by Rea Frey
  59. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  60. Newsletter Sign-up

We both turn. Beth trots up to us, breathless. “Hey! Were you just at the parade? We had a huge group of moms there. All without the kiddos, for a change.” She pauses. “You’re a brave soul, Bec. Did all that noise not bother Jackson?”

Though I can’t see Jess, I know a look passes between us. How much do I say? I know Beth well enough to realize she’s a perpetual gossip.

“We’re actually just heading back now because Jackson’s so exhausted. Coffee this week?” Jess gently ushers me in the opposite direction. Suddenly, I’m so deflated, I can barely stand.

“Wait, what’s going on?” Beth’s bubbly persona drops. “Did something happen?”

I turn to her. “Why would you ask that?”

“Because you both look like shit. No offense. What’s up?”

I dab my tearstained cheeks, desperate to tell someone, but then I think of what Jake said. I remember so many days of brutal cases when Jake would come home, crack a beer, and wear that glazed look that said: you can’t possibly understand this. He was never allowed to talk about his cases, but he never shut me out either. He was one of those rare breeds who could separate work from home. I’d never forgotten that—all the many kindnesses he’d shown me without even being aware of it. The least I can do is obey his wishes now. Before I can speak or Jess can concoct some story, the baby starts crying.

“Whoa, the baby who never cries is crying.” There’s almost glee in Beth’s voice. “I guess he is human after all.”

I want to twist him around to face her, to ask her if he looks different. Instead, I walk away to bounce him while she and Jess talk. I can’t possibly explain myself. How can I? No one can grasp the gravity of this situation, especially if it appears I’m just out for a stroll at the parade with my child.

“Let’s go,” Jess whispers.

“What about Beth?”

She stops. “Wait. I knew something seemed different about her.”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“Trevor wasn’t with her. I wonder if she finally got a nanny or something.”

“Trevor’s not with her?” I ask, surprised. I’ve never been around Beth when that baby wasn’t glued to her. We continue walking, but I glance over my shoulder.

Where is Trevor?

I crane my neck to witness the hazy canvas of my world and turn back to keep focused on my steps. It’s not like I can see if she’s still there, but the hairs prick to attention on the back of my neck.

I can feel her watching us.

25

BEC