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Back Until I Find You Save as PDF
Chapters (60)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. 33
  38. 34
  39. 35
  40. 36
  41. 37
  42. 38
  43. 39
  44. 40
  45. 41
  46. 42
  47. 43
  48. 44
  49. 45
  50. 46
  51. 47
  52. 48
  53. 49
  54. 50
  55. EPILOGUE
  56. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  57. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  58. Also by Rea Frey
  59. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  60. Newsletter Sign-up

“I knew you liked to go to Wilder,” Savi continues. “I always wanted to go there too, but Mom didn’t want the baby going where you were. She didn’t want you to know. She didn’t want anyone to know. It was our little secret. And Pam’s.”

My gut twists at all the wicked ways to mess up a child, but I stay silent.

“And what happened that day at the park?” Crystal asks softly.

“I don’t want to tell,” she says.

“Savi. You have to. It’s time to tell the truth. The real truth.”

My breath swirls inside my chest until I feel light-headed. I vacillate between wanting to hear the truth and run from the room.

“Am I going to get in trouble?” she asks.

Crystal doesn’t say anything, and finally, I speak up. “No, you’re not,” I say. “But you need to tell me exactly what happened, so we can all understand.”

She takes a quaking breath. “Okay.”

I sit back and prepare myself for the truth of what happened that day in the park.

50

BEC

“I didn’t mean to,” Savi begins. She takes a shaky breath. “I watch you in the park sometimes. From my bedroom window. I always see you on the same bench with the other moms. Jackson always seems so happy,” she adds wistfully. “Mom never takes Oliver to that park because she doesn’t want us to get in trouble.”

I refrain from telling her what bullshit that is; that no one would assume anything other than she had a baby of her own, but Crystal’s own warped paranoia has made Savi concoct a dangerous, inaccurate theory too.

“Anyway, that day, we were walking to the music store, and I saw you faint. I knew my mom didn’t want anyone coming to our house—like ever—especially in case they saw Oliver, but he was finally asleep, because Pam had given him some Benadryl. I knew he wouldn’t wake up and cry. It’s the only time he doesn’t cry.”

I wait for her to continue.

“When you came back, I went upstairs to tell Pam what happened, but she’d fallen asleep. She takes naps in the music room sometimes when Oliver has had a really bad day. I heard Jackson fuss downstairs, but when I went to his stroller, no one was watching him. Mom was with you, and your friend was outside, so I decided to walk Jackson around to keep him company. I showed him my room and my cello and he was so happy.”