“Sure,” I call back. “Thank you.” I gently stretch my back, which still throbs from my earlier fall. In the kitchen, the kettle whines then dies. Teacups clink against porcelain.

“Okay, nothing a cup of tea can’t fix.” Crystal enters the living room, china tinkling.

My body loosens and slumps as she presses the warm cup into my hands. “How’s Savi?”

I expect an obligatory response, but she sighs. “She ran away tonight.”

I sit up, new adrenaline coursing through my system. “She what?”

“Don’t worry. I found her. I think I scared her so much, she passed right out.”

“Why did she run away?”

“She’s just … sad, Bec. She’s so sad.”

I don’t ask what she means. I know. I’m sad too—so sad that I literally can’t wrap my head around one more night without my son. One more night without my baby in this house. It seems impossible. I set the cup down and tip my head back against the couch cushion.

“I’m so tired. I feel like I’m drowning.”

“I know. I know you do.” I sense there’s more Crystal wants to say but doesn’t. “Did Jake say what’s going to happen now?”

“It wasn’t Jake that was doing most of the talking. It was Toby. He said his men are on it, but I feel like he still doesn’t believe me.” My jaw hardens. “But I’m going to make sure whoever did this sees the inside of a jail cell, I can tell you that.” I roll my head her way. “You know, I never pressed charges against the guy who killed Chris. But this time? There will be consequences.” My voice trembles.

Crystal’s arm is around me. “Hey, don’t think about any of that now. Let’s get you up to bed. How does that sound?”

I prepare to protest, but suddenly, my own bed is the only place I can bear to be. She guides me through the hall and up the stairs. The wood whines under our feet. At the landing, there’s no comforting whoosh of Jackson’s noise machine down the hall, no baby sounds echoing on a monitor.

“I can’t live without him, Crystal. I can’t.” I mean every word. I’ve been able to survive so much else, but I cannot live without my son. I know it as fiercely as I’ve ever known anything. If he does not come back, I will die.

“I know.” She doesn’t try to talk me out of it. In my bedroom, she draws the shades and pulls back the comforter. “Do you want me to stay with you?”