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Back Until I Find You Save as PDF
Chapters (60)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. 31
  36. 32
  37. 33
  38. 34
  39. 35
  40. 36
  41. 37
  42. 38
  43. 39
  44. 40
  45. 41
  46. 42
  47. 43
  48. 44
  49. 45
  50. 46
  51. 47
  52. 48
  53. 49
  54. 50
  55. EPILOGUE
  56. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  57. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  58. Also by Rea Frey
  59. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  60. Newsletter Sign-up

I move through the rest of the day, preparing my interview questions for the nanny and my music lessons for the end of the week. At exactly six, the doorbell rings. Jackson is once again crawling through the house after a massive afternoon nap, his ankles like a Christmas jingle on repeat. Beethoven follows him protectively, the steady clop of his nails slipping on the refinished hardwood floors. The doorbell rouses his attention and he comes trotting to see who’s there. I let him know it’s okay. I’m smiling before I even unlock the newly installed screen door.

“There she is.” Jake’s arms are around me in an instant, and I surrender against his chest and breathe him in.

“Hi, handsome.”

“Hi, beautiful.” He tips my chin up and kisses me softly. Though his lips are familiar, they still electrify every part of my body.

He crosses the threshold and hangs his jacket on the coatrack. Beethoven wags his tail, and it thumps heavily against my leg. Jake crouches down to pet him before Jackson crawls into the foyer. He babbles and tries to form words. Jackson squeals as Jake picks him up and tosses him in the air.

“Careful,” I warn.

“What’s the fun in that?” He blows on Jackson’s belly, which garners a round of insatiable giggles.

His presence fills my foyer—my baby in his arms, my dog obediently sitting by his feet. “Did you behave for your mother today?” he asks. “Were you a good boy?”

I follow my boys down the hallway. Jake flip-flops between baby talk to Jackson and baby talk to the dog. I roll my eyes good-naturedly and lean against the doorframe to the remodeled kitchen, arms crossed, to listen. It’s not the ticking clocks and running dishwasher I hear: it’s life.

Life is in my mother’s house again.

Life is in me again.

Jake turns, noticing I’ve hung back. “You good?” he asks. I can tell his eyes assess me from head to toe, and I stand a little taller and smile.

“I’m great,” I say. I repeat the words in my head—I’m great. Jackson lets out a giant belly laugh. Jake laughs too. Beethoven barks.

Life.

I push off the doorframe, uncross my arms, and happily join my family.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS