We watched our friend yearn for freedom from struggles with work and love—struggles and life-snags that just seem like surmountable obstacles to most of us. We watched helplessly as our friend—unemployed and loveless—left a fine, plain life behind and moved to this isolated, harsh countryside, where there is no escape from the battering elements upon a vulnerable, unexercised body. And upon an unstable mind.

In many ways, my best friend's life almost echoed the anxiety of a generation: Disillusioned. Debt-ridden. Obsessive. Tired.

My best friend felt somehow not good enough, not thin enough, not successful enough. Riddled with Disorder that was never adequately treated.

Perhaps that is why our friend stepped outside of more "successful" choices in college—bewilderingly majoring in Folk and Myth. Where others of us have made films, hosted TV shows, written novels, our friend kept trying to join mankind's wonderful historical tapestry. Sad and futile attempts to be a recognized person in the world left our friend feeling challenged and beleaguered.

If nothing else, my best friend was just that . . . a "challenged soul."

Which is why I decided to start the My Best Friend Fund for Challenged Souls. To provide support and grants to creatively lost individuals who make bad choices. We will be having our first benefit gala at Lotus next month. Hosted by Adrien Brody, Pink, and Heidi Klum—all whom never knew our friend (how would they have crossed paths?), but after I have talked to them, feel as if they did.

And we at the My Best Friend Fund have some great news!

I have just received word that we will be receiving a special Filmmaker Seed Grant from Sheila Nevins herself, the executive producer over at HBO, to make a docudrama about my best friend's mundane yet terrible life. And actually Sofia will be directing, who is here today! Where is she . . . ? Why don't you stand up, Sofia?

And Sam, my man, my most talented man, will be playing the lead. Already he is deep in the role, gaining thirty pounds, and we'll be using the latest equipment, putting latex on his face to create age spots and acne and wrinkles.

I think you all would agree that my best friend would be happy that my life was finally clicking in place. Isn't it ironic that it took death to make it happen?

But for now, let's all have a moment of silence, as we scatter the ashes of this challenged soul, who now may finally be happy and free to wander aimlessly in the air.

Good-bye my sweet, discouraged, troubled friend. Death be not proud.

Oh. Sorry. I'm not sure if we captured that on film, so if you don't mind I am just going to repeat myself:

Good-bye my sweet, discouraged, troubled friend. Death be not proud.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Thank you

Tina Bennett

Lisa Archambault

Tessa Blake

Nell Casey

Susan Dominus

Everyone at Fez

Casey Greenfield

Murray Hill

Ariel Kaminer

Svetlana Katz

Viva Ruiz

Anna Catherine Rutledge