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Back The Underminer
Chapters (21)
  1. Cover Page
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Table of Contents
  5. Bright Young Things campus of Clarkwell College, graduation in the town of Clarksville, somewhere upstate, 1990
  6. Cool Days open mike night at Kafka-fe, after band "2 Much" plays, 1991
  7. New on the Scene utside in front of Club Hush, for a film screening party of Kill Fee, 1993 o
  8. Single in the City at a French bistro, 1995
  9. Hangover brunch, the morning after, 1995
  10. Natural Health a chance meeting at Jasper’s Yoga Studio, 1996
  11. The Fat Flush ’90s in the foyer of a friend’s renovated brownstone, 1997
  12. Art Stars at Bonwyck Gallery, 1998
  13. Inner Odyssey the Burning Man festival in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert, 1999
  14. Life After Death facedown in the dirt of the desert, next morning, 1999
  15. Loyal Companions catching up at the dog run, 2000 catching up at the dog run, 2000
  16. In the Real World a run-in at the ShopShape magazine launch party sponsored by Senor Strawberry Liqueur, early 2001
  17. Wartime spotted at Kinko's, late 2001
  18. Office Job in the cafeteria of the Conde Nast building, 2003
  19. Settling a yard sale on an obscure block in the outer borough, 2003
  20. Starting Over in a remote village tavern on the farmlands of New Zealand, 2004
  21. Epilogue a gathering of friends

Oh! We bought a brownstone! Yeah! We take the top two floors and we rent out the first floor and that actually pays for the whole thing. And it gives us enough money left over for us to buy property in the North Fork which we rent out in the winter, and that gives us enough money to—oh you'll love this—buy that incredible place in Costa Rica that you pointed out in Nest magazine? You know? The one you always said you'd kill yourself to live in?

Well, we got it!

And Sam is in HEAVEN sanding and rebuilding and renovating. He's such a shy lumberjack kind of guy. He keeps me centered. He's such a homebody.

Speaking of, Carl's helping us build a foundation, pouring cement. You know how good he is with his hands and stuff. He really looks good. Aren't you so excited for his wedding in Provincetown?

You know.

You don't?

Him and Lyle.

Lyle Franklin.

I am so sure you knew! You just probably forgot. He probably didn't have your new address or you would have gotten the invite. Didn't you fill out the change-of-address form? You did? But did you fill it out online? The special green form change-of-address locator E-card? No not the yellow notification form, the GBJEEN form! Oh yeah, it IS kind of important with everything being processed electronically these days.

Yeah, he and Lyle Franklin are hot and heavy. Carl is finally happy. It sort of makes sense, you know, thinking back to him in college, that he needed someone sort of lighthearted like Lyle.

I was there when they met, at the Millionaire's Club Annual Cookout. The theme was "psycho exes who hang on too long" and Carl was hilarious! They met and it was like magic or something.

Anyway, they want to start a family, and of course the first person they thought of to be the mother was Greta. So they are all—what can I say—making something beautiful happen! It makes me want to cry!

I was with Greta not four months ago and she was so sad. Her book hadn't sold so well, and she had broken up with her boyfriend, and felt so alone. But I told her, Greta, I really believe that the Universe is a living being. Ask of it and it will respond. If you live your life in a loving way it will give you what you need. And so she asked of it, and things turned around for her. Now she's writing about this big spiritual turnaround in her life.