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Back The Underminer Save as PDF
Chapters (21)
  1. Cover Page
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Table of Contents
  5. Bright Young Things campus of Clarkwell College, graduation in the town of Clarksville, somewhere upstate, 1990
  6. Cool Days open mike night at Kafka-fe, after band "2 Much" plays, 1991
  7. New on the Scene utside in front of Club Hush, for a film screening party of Kill Fee, 1993 o
  8. Single in the City at a French bistro, 1995
  9. Hangover brunch, the morning after, 1995
  10. Natural Health a chance meeting at Jasper’s Yoga Studio, 1996
  11. The Fat Flush ’90s in the foyer of a friend’s renovated brownstone, 1997
  12. Art Stars at Bonwyck Gallery, 1998
  13. Inner Odyssey the Burning Man festival in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert, 1999
  14. Life After Death facedown in the dirt of the desert, next morning, 1999
  15. Loyal Companions catching up at the dog run, 2000 catching up at the dog run, 2000
  16. In the Real World a run-in at the ShopShape magazine launch party sponsored by Senor Strawberry Liqueur, early 2001
  17. Wartime spotted at Kinko's, late 2001
  18. Office Job in the cafeteria of the Conde Nast building, 2003
  19. Settling a yard sale on an obscure block in the outer borough, 2003
  20. Starting Over in a remote village tavern on the farmlands of New Zealand, 2004
  21. Epilogue a gathering of friends

Hm? Well thank you. Yes. I am a vulture of sorts. A bird at least. I am Perseus, God of Swiftness and Light. I know it's such a beautiful costume isn't it? So light and airy. It turns out that of all things I am best friends with Sally Rosenthal, the Academy Award-winning costume designer of my good friend Baz's last movie, and she just whipped this up for me, plus a few other changes for the course of the week. Fun, huh? I am so lucky.

Although I think this will be my last year here. I don't know it's kind of become overrun with lame partiers and desperadoes who don't really get the whole message. It's time for me to move on. Anyway, yay. You are here! How auspicious. Bless the Mother Moon! It really means a lot. You're someone I need to open my heart to more. This sacred place welcomes all, every type of person in every community, no matter what his or her level of success or means.

I just got back from the most beautiful Nudist Circle. Carl and Greta were there. They looked really good. Their bodies. You just missed them. We were celebrating their Letting.

Hm? Oh, yeah, you wouldn't understand that. I guess you would say that they "broke up," but that sounds so negative. They chose to finish their relationship, and celebrate its end, at the Nudist Circle. It was a beautiful ceremony. Lots of hands-on energy work. We all surrounded them, sang and coaxed the cords of their heart chakras to untangle. Yes, there were some tears, but Carl and Greta are still the best of friends. They just both knew that it was time. I'm so proud of them.

Hm? We didn't talk about you, actually. Wouldn't it be weird if, after all this time you thought Carl and you were going to, like, hook up again? Like . . . fifteen years after you dated? I know, so funny. Ha! But I am sure that is the last thing on your mind. You have so much going on now—your yoga, your sobriety. All that self-work.

Wait. How are you? Things are changing, huh? I can see it in your face, especially when I say "self-work." The anger, the frustration, the lines of concern in your forehead. Your face has changed from the pressure. It's not just aging, it's more of a shift in psyche. Hm.