Back The Realistic Joneses Save as PDF
Chapters (19)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Acknowledgments
  5. Production History
  6. Characters
  7. Scene 1
  8. Scene 2
  9. Scene 3
  10. Scene 4
  11. Scene 5
  12. Scene 6
  13. Scene 7
  14. Scene 8
  15. Scene 9
  16. Scene 10
  17. Scene 11
  18. Scene 12
  19. About the Author

JENNIFER: Okay. (Brief pause) So, when I went into the store the other day, the day I saw you, I was just going in to stare at the international foods. I like the labels. It always calms me down, in a sort of churchy way, I don’t know why. And, I figured if I started crying, because I thought I might cry, people would just think I have a dead lover in Barcelona or something. Anyway, you were funny and weird, and you made me feel better. And I remembered people can do that. That talking with someone can make you feel better.

JOHN: What if, after you talk, the other person just stares back at you. With nothing in their heart.

JENNIFER: Are you saying that’s what’s happening now?

JOHN: No.

JENNIFER: Wait— who am I? I’m the person talking or the one with nothing in their heart?

JOHN: I don’t know. I wasn’t saying you were either. Can I get you anything? We have instant lemonade. It’ll just take a sec.

JENNIFER: No, thanks. I think I understand you, at least a little, and that hurts you somehow. Or it makes you scared.

JOHN: Oh, I’m sure that’s true. (He’s found a pack of matches in his pocket. Half to himself) What is this? “The Aquarium”? Is there a bar around here called The Aquarium? Oh, no—I know where it is.

JENNIFER: Is that some sort of strategy?

JOHN (Very brief pause): I’m sorry, I think I’m just about to leave my body. (Pause. It’s as if he’s about to get violently ill, so he’s staying still to try to prevent that from happening) Nope. Well, another time. (Very brief pause) Someone threw out this lamp.

JENNIFER: We actually threw out that lamp.

JOHN: Really? Well, you should take it back.

JENNIFER: No, you keep it.

JOHN: Okay.

JENNIFER: It’s a nice light. This is nice.

JOHN: I think I might disappear.

JENNIFER: How do you mean?

JOHN: I don’t know. Like, physically. Or, mentality. Or, just kind of quietly, on back roads at night. I mean, mentally.

JENNIFER: I’d like to disappear sometimes. No, are you serious?

JOHN: Probably.

JENNIFER: What about Pony?

JOHN: It’s all taken care of.

JENNIFER: How?

JOHN: I’m hoping you can check in on her.

JENNIFER: That’s how it’s all taken care of?

JOHN: I’m not a details person.

JENNIFER: I didn’t used to be. That’s almost all I am, now. (Very brief pause) I’m sure you’re a little overwhelmed.

JOHN: I am.

JENNIFER: I like your house.

JOHN: No, you don’t. Do you want to do that thing where you think of a number between one and ten?

JENNIFER: Okay.

JOHN: Did you ever have a brother?

JENNIFER: I have two half-sisters.

JOHN: So that sort of equals a brother.