We sit next to one another in the lounge, sipping beers in front of the cosy wood burner while our chilli nachos warm in the oven. I made Matt’s favourite tonight, thinking he was going to be working late, but he ended up coming home at the normal time, so he’s in a great mood, his blue eyes soft and twinkling. He looks so handsome in his grey sweatshirt and joggers, his blonde hair still damp from the shower. I feel lucky every day that I have him in my life. The kids are already in bed, so we’re having a few rare moments to relax.

‘How was today?’ Matt asks.

‘Don’t ask. Although I sorted out my new hours with Dee, which is something.’

‘What happened?’

‘I actually thought Dee was going to have to sack me instead.’

‘What? Why?’ Matt sits up straighter but relaxes again when he sees that I’m smiling. I tell him about the order mix-up and the dropped breakfasts, and he pulls me in for a hug. ‘Poor you. At least Dee was nice about it,’ he says. ‘But it’s not like you to muddle up orders and drop stuff. You’re normally Miss Efficient. Is everything okay? Is there something going on I should know about?’

I blink and look down at my beer bottle. ‘Going on? No, why are you asking that?’

‘Come on, Rach, I’m not stupid. There’s obviously something up. You’ve been acting strange these past couple of days.’

I don’t reply straight away, wondering if now is the time to tell Matt about my past. If Bella turns out to be my child then it will all have to come out anyway.

‘Rachel?’

I put my bottle on the table and shift back, turning to face him and twiddling a few strands of my hair.

‘Okay, you’re making me nervous now,’ he says, wearing a worried smile. ‘You’re not pregnant, are you?’

I roll my eyes.

‘Because it’s fine if you are,’ he adds hastily. ‘I mean, not fine, it’s great. Just… not sure where we’ll fit everyone, but I’m sure we’ll be able to work it out.’

‘Don’t worry; I’m not pregnant.’

‘Oh.’ His shoulders drop. ‘Good. Because this house… I love it, but it’s tiny, there’s barely room for the four of us, let alone five, and thinking about the sleepless nights…’ He breaks off. ‘So, if you’re not pregnant, then what is it?’

If I don’t tell him now, while he’s asking me, I’m not sure I ever will. I’m not sure I’m doing the right thing, but I find myself starting to explain. ‘The thing is, Matt, there’s something from my past. Something I never told you.’

‘Okaaay.’ He takes a sip of his beer and gives me an intense stare.