‘Don’t tell Kate I was here.’ I reach into my pocket and pull out my purse, taking out a ten and a twenty – that’s all that’s in there apart from a couple of ten-pence pieces. ‘Here.’ I thrust the notes into his hand. ‘That’s all I’ve got on me but let me know if I owe you any more for the damage.’

‘I don’t want your money,’ he snarls, trying to throw the notes back at me. They flutter down onto his legs. ‘I don’t want your charity!’

‘It’s not charity. I’m trying to pay for—’

‘I don’t want your money! Take it back.’

‘But the window’s broken.’

‘I can fix a window. I’m not useless.’

‘Okay. Look, Shaun, I’m going to go now, okay. Do you need any help getting up?’

‘Get out, Rachel. Don’t come here again.’

‘I won’t. Please don’t tell Kate I was here.’ I sidle past, stepping over his outstretched legs, wondering whether he’ll even remember this encounter. Wondering if I’ll get a visit from the police or a call from Kate. I open the front door and leave the Morrises’ flat.

The cold night air jolts me back to reality and I’m shivering from the shock of it all. The chances are that Shaun will tell Kate what happened and then she’ll know for sure that I’m on to her. What if they move away and take Bella with them? What if I lose my daughter for a second time? I can’t let that happen. I just can’t.

28

Then

Catriona takes refuge in the glitzy hotel bathroom for a few minutes. She avoids looking at herself in the mirror. Instead, she goes straight into a cubicle and locks the door, sits on the loo seat and exhales. How did she end up here? At the funeral of the man she loved?

Darren’s parents paid for it all – the casket, the hotel, the catering. Everything. They live up north, in Middlesbrough, and it’s been almost a year since she’s seen them. Darren had a falling out with one of his sisters when she accused him of not doing enough after their dad had a heart attack last year. His mum and dad took the sister’s side over Darren’s, and Catriona had been angry on Darren’s behalf. She had counselled him against making up with them. Said they were out of order. That it was impossible for him to be there all the time while he had work commitments and a young family to look after. But now she feels bad about that. At least it meant they hadn’t seen Grace for ages, since she was little more than a baby.