Darren jerks to his feet as though electrocuted. ‘An accident? What kind of accident? Where is she now? The hospital?’

Catriona flinches and shakes her head.

‘She’s still in the flat then?’

She stares up at him, trying to process his words.

He glances wildly around. ‘Grace! Gracie!’ Darren staggers across the hall and into the sitting room. Catriona scrabbles to her feet and follows behind, her mind and body tingling with numbness. He pulls back the curtains and shifts the sofa. Peers in every nook and cranny of the small lounge, even though it’s blindingly obvious that their daughter isn’t in the room. He does the same in their bedroom. Examining the interior of the wardrobe and sliding partway under the bed, looking behind the curtains. He even yanks the drawers out from their runners, frantically looking, looking, looking. Trashing their room in the process ‘Where’s our daughter, Caty? What have you done with her? What did you DO?’

18

Now

I barely remember making my way home. My head was so full of Bella. Seeing her there alone in her kitchen, thinking she could really be my Holly. I keep flipping between believing that she’s mine, to thinking that I’m wrong and I’m fixating on a wish rather than a reality. But each time I’ve laid eyes on her I’ve had this knee-jerk physical reaction. A shocking hit of adrenalin that leaves me breathless. When I see her I’m certain, but when I’m away from her there’s still a tiny seed of doubt wriggling beneath my skin. Until I get hard evidence one way or the other, I won’t be able to rest.

I turn left into our road and see that there are no parking spaces outside our house, so I cruise down the street, finally spotting one right at the end. I turn off the engine and take a moment to compose myself before getting out of the car and trudging up the road towards the house. It seems familiar and different all at once. Bella’s house is only a ten-minute drive away from here, yet it feels as though I’ve been to the ends of the earth and back, mentally as well as physically.

I steel myself at the door, knowing I have to go in and keep up the charade that I was at the dentist. Finally inside, I feel the warmth of our home wrap itself around me. I’m relieved to be back, yet also feeling strangely guilty at my relief. Like I don’t deserve to be here. Like I should be doing more to discover Bella’s real identity.

‘Hello!’ I call out.

There’s a low murmur of voices from upstairs.

‘Hello! Matt?’ I peer up the stairs.

A door opens above me. ‘Rach? That you?’