I get to my feet and roll my shoulders back and forth, trying to loosen the kinks in my neck. ‘She was talking to some of the school mums and I caught her eye. I smiled and waved, but she blanked me. She actually turned away so she couldn’t see me any more.’

‘That’s awful! Are you sure she actually saw you though? Maybe it was just a coincidence that she moved at the same time you saw her.’

‘No, she definitely saw me. I caught her eye and her expression changed for a split second.’

‘What a cow. Sounds like you and Jess could both do with a hug.’

I step into his arms for a brief moment and then pull away. ‘I’ll go up and see her. Were you just with her now, before I came back?’

‘No. She said she wanted to be on her own, so I was helping Charlie with his maths homework.’

‘All right. I’ll go up and see how she’s doing before making tea.’

‘How was the dentist? Sorry, forgot to ask.’

‘The what? Oh, yeah. Fine. It was just a check-up.’ I hope he doesn’t notice the sudden warmth in my cheeks. I’ve never been a very good liar.

As I climb the stairs, I berate myself for chasing after Bella while Jess has been here feeling so awful. I should have been at home with her, listening and comforting her. But how can I choose between my two daughters? Just because Holly hasn’t been in my life for years, doesn’t mean she’s any less important to me. I really can’t shake the feeling that Bella is Holly. And I owe it to myself – and to her – to find out if it’s true.

19

‘Come on, guys, quick, quick, out of the car!’ I push my hair from my eyes as the wind whips it around my face, damp strands clinging to my skin like seaweed to a rock.

‘Mu-um, why can’t we just go home?’ Jess is giving me side-eye and being particularly grumpy.

‘Close the door and come on! The quicker we go, the quicker we can go back home.’

‘Fine.’ Jess slams her door with a scowl. I really must have words with her about her increasingly bad attitude, but I’m putting it down to all this nonsense with Amy. We spoke about it last night – admittedly not for long because Jess said it made her too upset to talk about it. Apparently Amy isn’t being mean, she’s just not being friendly. So I told Jess to give her some space and play with her other friends instead.

‘Here’s a brolly.’ I hand it to Jess and she perks up a little. She likes umbrellas for some reason.

‘Can I have a brolly?’ Charlie asks.

‘You can stand under mine,’ I reply.

‘Can I hold it?’