Grace’s eyes widen, and she puts her fingers up to her mouth, touching her baby teeth. Catriona smiles reassuringly at her and then sets her down on the kitchen floor. She feels so protective it almost hurts. She realises she needs to make a good life for the two of them. She needs a good job, new friends, maybe she even needs to meet someone new – find a father for Grace. It’s disloyal to even be thinking this, but she’s only twenty-eight. She can’t let the past destroy her life. She has to think about their future.

Through the window, Catriona’s eyes are drawn upwards to the church steeple, dark against the ice-white sky. The thought flickers into her head that she should maybe have planted a tree or a shrub in the church grounds. Marked the spot with something beautiful. But that would have drawn too much attention. And perhaps there should be no reminder as, after all, she does still have her Gracie. She wonders if the spot will ever be discovered. But she can’t think like that. And in any case, she can’t do anything about it now.

Soon, once she’s out of this flat, she won’t have to think about any of this again. It will be a clean slate. Time will heal everything.

32

Now

The traffic is heavier on the drive back from London, three-lane tailbacks seeming to materialise out of nowhere. I still have three hours before I need to be at school, but at the rate I’m crawling along, it will take at least four.

My phone buzzes and I glance over at the passenger seat where my mobile sits on top of my handbag. It’s a text from Matt. I wait until the traffic comes to another standstill before quickly glancing at his message:

Mum’s picking the kids up after school. They’re going to help decorate her tree this evening.

My shoulders suddenly feel less tense. Thank goodness for Stella! I quickly tap out a reply:

That’s great. See you later.

I wait for Matt’s response, but he doesn’t text back. Must be busy at work. At least I don’t have to stress all the way home about missing school pick-up.

In the end, it takes me over three and a half further hours to get back, so I would definitely have been late.