“You weren’t. I want to cover all our bases so we don’t find ourselves in an awkward position. No matter what we might have discussed previously about things we want, we need to keep the line of no intimate contact well established. This is business. Nothing else.”

“Right. Business,” I echo. The agreement punctures me.

“Good. Now that we’re covered that, I’d like to hear more about your family, if you’re comfortable sharing about them.”

I tell her about my parents and their life together. I show her pictures of Elizabeth and Drew, my sister and brother, as well as their families. She laughs at the photos of my nails painted bright purple, courtesy of my four-year-old niece, Rosie. I share about my childhood and the bits and pieces hardly anyone knows; how some days were better than others but a lot of times I felt alone, painfully high standards demanded of me, no room for negotiations. I talk about the grueling experience of balancing school, extracurricular activities, a social life, and my mental health. The words flow from me effortlessly like I’m catching up with an old friend, and when my stomach rumbles, I notice it’s already lunchtime, the morning lost between us in enlightening and enthusiastic conversation.

“Wow, I spoke about myself for 99% of our time together and didn’t let you share anything,” I say sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck.

“That’s okay. We can meet up this week and I can give you some of my history. It’s nothing special, so don’t get too excited.”

“I get to see you again?”

“Of course you do. This isn’t going to be easy to sell if you don’t know my middle name.”

I hum, nodding in agreement. “When do you want to hang out again?”

“How about Friday?”

“That could work. What did you have in mind?”

“How about an escape room and baking cookies?”

“That sounds—”

“Incredibly stupid, sorry. I thought it would be a good trust-building thing. And fun.” Emma’s talking quickly, like she wishes she never suggested the idea.

“I was going to say awesome. I’m totally down.”

“Really?” Her face splits into a wide grin, stretching across her face, illuminated and elated. It’s now, right here in the middle of a crowded coffee shop on a Sunday afternoon, patrons bustling around us and machines whirling in the background, where I realize for the first time that I will do anything and everything in my power to make sure Emma smiles like this every single day. And that I get to witness it. Never have I seen a more beautiful sight. It’s mesmerizing and soul-crushing in the best way.