Ian appeared with a glass of white wine. ‘It might taste like piss. But it’ll do the trick.’ I accepted the offering and laughed. ‘And we’ve got chilli. Like, fucking loads of the stuff.’

My nose prickled with incoming tears, but I tried to swallow them back and laugh instead. ‘As long as it’s better than Rowan’s cooking.’

Monty snorted. ‘Roadkill is better than that. Ian, get back in the kitchen and make this woman a real meal.’ Ian followed orders without another word. I realised, then, that even though I’d accepted the wine glass with one hand, I was still holding Monty’s hand with the other. I went to pull away and he squeezed. ‘Hey, this is okay.’ Another squeeze. ‘Do you want to talk about how much of an arsehole he is?’

‘That depends.’ I took a generous swig. ‘Are you going to tell me how many women there are?’ He looked uncomfortable, but he didn’t flat-out refuse. ‘I get it, there’s a bro code and all—’

‘Oh, Edi, fuck the bro code. I know what I’m about to say is going to land him in shit.’

‘So there are lots of women?’ I shook my head. ‘Maybe not lots, but more than he’s told me.’

‘Given that he didn’t tell you about the one tonight,’ Ian answered as he reappeared with a bowl in each hand, ‘I’d wager that yes, definitely more than he’s told you.’ He handed a bowl to each of us, then rushed back to the kitchen to get his own. ‘I’ll make a deal that Monty won’t make, because Monty doesn’t want to be the bad guy. I, on the other, don’t mind being an accidental arsehole.’ He paused to spoon chilli into his mouth. ‘I’m going to tell you what Rowan has told us, about the women he’s seeing, and about your … situation, let’s say? I’m only going to tell you stuff that he’s told us.’

I didn’t catch his meaning. But Monty did. ‘Ian and I have no reason to believe Rowan might have lied to you. It’s not dishonourable to relay things we’ve been told.’

Ian tapped my knee, then, to get my attention back on him. ‘Take a deep breath, okay?’

Monty made panting noises around his first mouthful of hot chilli. But he made a college effort at trying to talk, still, even if it did make him look like a nervous chimp. ‘I genuinely have no idea how many women Rowan has slept with, nor how many he plans to sleep with before this is over. But I have seen an eye-watering number of women join us on nights out. Your turn.’ He clicked his fingers at Ian.