‘Okay, then.’ She stood up and grabbed her bag from under the table. ‘I’ll pay and then walk you back.’ I opened my mouth to object to the offer but she powered on. ‘Hey, if this is your first date with a woman, the least I can do is get the bill and get you home safe.’ She walked away, then, before I had time to object any more. But her absence did at least give me time to get my shit together into something that made me look less like a stuttering mess. Is this what dates with women are like? I wondered, while I pulled on my cardigan and grabbed my own bag. ‘Ready?’

‘As ever.’ I walked out ahead of her. When I reached for the door, though, I froze in my tracks as I felt what I thought was a light tap on my arse.

Fred cosied up behind me, then. ‘You’ll have to forgive that, Edi, it was more for the waiter than it was you.’ She stepped around me. ‘I’ll get the door.’

We fell out into the street like a pair of howling teenagers on WKD for the first time. Fred apologised several times over – ‘I’m a bit of a pain for things like that, Edi, I am sorry’ – and she explained that when it came to heteronormativity, she couldn’t help herself. And that’s exactly how she phrased it. For my sins, I wondered whether Rowan even knew what heteronormativity was. His assumption that I’m on a date with a man tonight, that’s what … and I laughed along with Fred as she continued to explain herself, only leaving me room to occasionally jump in and explain she really didn’t need to.

‘It was fun, being like that,’ I admitted.

‘Well, I’m glad. You’ll get it a lot.’

I swallowed my nerves. ‘Light taps on the arse?’

‘If that’s what you’re into.’

We came to a stop outside my building and I was sincerely grateful because I had well and truly maxed out on courage for one night. ‘This is where I get off.’ She laughed, and it took me a beat to understand why. ‘Oh! Oh, I didn’t—’

She leaned in and kissed me square on the mouth. ‘It’s the wine. It gives me a dirty mind.’ Then she put a healthier distance between us. My lips tingled – everything did – and I felt as though all the words had been drawn out of me. ‘Thanks for letting me buy you dinner, and for letting me walk you home. It’s been a genuine pleasure, Edi …’

‘Parcell,’ I filled in what I thought her blank was. Praise be to the gods that I still knew my last name. ‘Thank you for tonight. It’s been kind of amazing.’

She started to back away along the pavement. ‘Kind of? I’ll up my game for next time.’