She threw Faith a quizzical look and then glanced back at me. ‘Yes, are you?’ There was a long pause where no one spoke at all. Then, like a car backfiring, Lily erupted with a sharp burst of laughter. ‘You were worried about telling me.’

‘Well, yeah,’ I admitted. Faith was a safe bet for this confession. But I hadn’t known how anyone else might react. The girls had been amazing through everything in my life. A crisis of sexuality, though, I’d thought might be a crisis too far. That said, I’d been through this with Faith when she came out to me at twelve, and it wasn’t like she hadn’t had a prior brush of this panic with me – another memory that I had to blink hard to get rid of. Lily looked sincerely confused – hurt, even. ‘I’m sorry, Lily. I …’ I crossed the kitchen and ran my hand under the cold tap, before pressing that palm to my forehead, throat, chest. ‘I’m sorry. I hardly feel like I’m thinking straight at the minute.’

Faith snorted. ‘Probably a good thing.’

‘Oh, oh,’ Lily started to laugh, ‘quick thinking for you.’

‘Cow.’ Faith picked up her phone the second it dinged. ‘Score. Shallwetea25 is looking for something similar to me and she’s in the local area. What about this one?’

Lily glanced over. ‘That is definitely not her real picture.’

They bantered back and forth as though I wasn’t standing in front of them – having a minor meltdown over my sexuality, conscience, life. And while Faith swiped left, left, right, supported by Lily’s instructions and laughter and scepticism, I felt the heat move from my face to my stomach, and the sensation was altogether more comforting than the worries I’d started out with. I crossed the room and pulled them both towards me, an arm around each of them.

‘I love you.’

‘Oh, Parcell,’ Faith spoke into my neck, ‘I’ve waited so long—’

‘Faith, she’s having a moment, don’t ruin it.’

I let them go but placed a palm on each of Lily’s shoulders and kept her at arm’s length. ‘I’m sorry that I thought I couldn’t tell you.’

‘Oh shush.’ She reached behind me to the counter and grabbed the bottle of wine. ‘Tell me about Fred now, would you? What kind of model?’

I half-laughed. ‘Life drawing model.’

Faith dropped her phone again. ‘You’ve seen this woman naked?’

I hesitated. ‘Yes.’

‘Then what the hell do you need me for?’