‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ I cut across him, ‘does my spite hurt you? Do you not want me to speak ill of the woman who fucked my boyfriend the second my back was turned?’ The expletive hung heavy in the air between us. It was the first time either of us had used the word quite so viciously. He hadn’t admitted yet that they’d gone all the way. But I could tell from his reaction, then, that he’d seen her naked; touched her body. A shudder ran through me.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked, spotting the judder. I shot him a blank look. ‘Sorry. I don’t know why I asked that.’

‘So what, she was meant to call a taxi, it ran late and you thought you’d kill time?’

‘No, we …’ he started, then stopped and tried to steady himself. I already knew that whatever was coming next would hurt. ‘We just started talking. Her parents are in a similar situation to mine. They – they’re not happy; they shouldn’t be together. We talked and we complained and we drank—’

‘Not so much you couldn’t perform, though, so you must have drunk just the right amount.’

He looked ashamed, then, and swallowed so hard that I could track the muscles moving in his jaw. ‘No, not that much. As soon as it happened – when it was over, I felt …’

‘Tell me, Rowan. What did you feel?’

‘Disgusting.’

‘Good.’ I stood and walked to the living room window. The world outside was grey and I wondered whether it was observable pathetic fallacy. Lily would probably say it was. I watched rain make mismatched patterns on the pane and, for the first time in these two most hideous hours of my adult life, I let myself cry. ‘Who knows?’ I asked, my breath jagged and my face still fixed on the window.

‘No one.’

‘Actually no one, or no one apart from Hamish and the rest of them?’

There was a long pause. ‘Actually no one. Skye left before my parents came home.’

Skye. I looked up. She’d even ruined the view.

‘I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone.’ I turned to face him. ‘Will she?’

He shrugged. ‘I don’t see why she would. I could talk to—’

‘I think it’s in your best interests not to finish that sentence.’

‘Yep. I heard it.’ A long pause stretched out between us. I couldn’t look at him, but again I felt him looking at me. ‘You’re not going to tell anyone?’

‘My friends would never forgive you.’

‘I’m not exactly worried about them.’