‘Yeah, there was kind of a motive to that, too.’

Snip. ‘Oh?’ I couldn’t keep track of my feelings. The nervous through to the delight through to – whatever was happening next. ‘Go on, then, let’s be having it.’

‘So, I was talking to Dad a lot over the week. Mum wasn’t around that much, which was nice. But Dad was asking whether I’d had any doubts or whether I thought you had any doubts, about the wedding.’ He forced a laugh. ‘What he actually said was, “Are the pair of you sure that you’re both thinking straight on this?” I told him I hadn’t had doubts but that other people maybe did. You know, how people are always asking how we can be so sure, whether we are so sure. Even the conversation with Dad felt like a rerun of that in loads of ways.’

Snip. ‘Right …’

‘Dad asked if we’d thought of a break at any point. Not like, not being together anymore, as such, but a break from being engaged or being – I don’t know, shit. I can’t remember the word he used. He might have said exclusive.’

I’d run out of flowers to cut. But I couldn’t look at him. I had a horrible feeling that whoever was sitting at my kitchen table wasn’t the person I would expect to see if I turned round. ‘I think you mean monogamous.’

There was a long pause before he said, ‘Yeah, that might have been the word. But it got me thinking about how we’ve never really known anyone else, have we, either of us?’ The thought made my stomach roll and I clung to the counter to steady myself. ‘And look, we’ve booked somewhere, we’re settled, we know we’re doing the right thing. But what if there are things we want to get out of our system?’ I assumed the question was rhetorical until I felt Rowan close in behind me; he set a hand on my back and craned round to see my face. ‘Edi?’

What is happening here? ‘I’m sorry, I don’t think I understand.’