‘Edi, we really don’t need to make a thing about this.’

I frowned. ‘Don’t we?’

‘We’re done, aren’t we? You’re gay now and we’re done. That’s that.’

‘Don’t be a dick about it, Rowan.’ The words came out of my mouth, but I felt a strong sense of Lily, Betty, Cora. ‘This doesn’t have to be the world’s worst or first break-up. And I’m not gay, I’m … Do you know what, actually, it’s none of your business what I am at the moment, and you’d be doing yourself a favour if you remembered who wanted—’

‘Christ, are you actually about to blame the break on me, again?’

It knocked me. Have I blamed you too much? I wondered, but I tried to shake the thought away before I could buy it. ‘Remind you that the break that was your idea, you mean? I don’t remember being in a rush to suggest you sleep with other women.’

He snorted. ‘No, but weirdly enough it didn’t take you long to.’

‘Well, maybe you should have thought through the possibility that someone else in the world might want to have sex with me apart from you.’ I spoke plainly, didn’t raise my voice or rush. But I wanted the truth out there, neatly wrapped with a bow for him to pull apart with his friends over beers – or with a counsellor when he finally worked through his issues with his parents. ‘It didn’t even occur to you, did it,’ I added, when he let the silence stretch out, ‘that someone else might want me?’

He shook his head. ‘Who are you these days?’

‘Edi, still. Who are you?’

‘You don’t think you’ve changed, at all, in the last few months?’

My stomach rumbled with nerves, but I swallowed hard and pulled in a breath. ‘How is this about me all of a sudden?’

‘You’re the one who finished things!’ He was shouting now. ‘I thought we were happy.’

‘Then why did we need to sleep with other people?’

His shoulders dropped. ‘You wanted that as well, Edi, don’t make out you didn’t.’

But I didn’t; did I? I couldn’t work out whether it was a question for Rowan or myself. Still, if I’d been in the right relationship I would have been able to ask the question aloud, voice the concerns, share the—

‘Are you saying you didn’t?’ he rushed in when I didn’t answer.