She eased my drink away from me and set it alongside hers on a nearby table. When ‘One Drink Away’ by Cher Lloyd kicked in, Fred grabbed me closer to her. ‘God, let this song be a prophecy,’ she whispered to me while we danced and we fell over ourselves with laughter. Her body knocked against mine in a way that I’m sure Lily’s, Cora’s, Faith’s must have done at one point. But there was a kind of heat starting up, from knowing I’d seen those thighs unclothed; that I’d probably see them that way again before the night was over. I could feel a physical shift somewhere. It might have been arousal, I thought. But as Fred pulled me into the most sexually charged hug I think I’ve ever had on a dance floor, it occurred to me that this excitement – this charge – might just be something like freedom …

One song faded out to another and soon the room was flooded with Lady Gaga’s ‘Free Woman’ – and I took it as a sign. I eased myself away from Fred long enough to guzzle down what was left of my drink, leaving a sandy mess at the bottom of the glass, and then I turned back to her with my arms stretched wide to welcome her in. Body to body we backstepped to the centre of the floor and swung ourselves about like teenagers on an A-level results night. It was somewhere in this twirling that the mess of other bodies cleared the way enough for me to see him.

I’d told him I was out that night – with Fred again. He’d only grunted in response and then told me he was staying in – with the boys. I tried to work out the lie: had he planned a night out with the other woman all along, or had someone swiped right at the last minute? Either way, they looked comfortable – close. Fred led my arms in an excited jig, but I still couldn’t help but watch for a second longer: while he brushed hair away from the woman’s face; while he kissed her cheek with a tenderness that meant they couldn’t possibly have had sex yet.

Fred came to a stop, when she realised what I was watching. She tucked an arm around my shoulders and pulled me to her – like I thought Lily, Cora, Faith must have done once. ‘Are you okay?’ she shouted above the music.