“A vacation will tire a man out worse than work,” said Simple.

“Where did you go?”

“Saratoga—after the season was over and the rates is down.”

“What did you do up there?”

“Got bug-eyed.”

“You mean drank liquor?” I inquired.

“I did not drink water,” said Simple.

“I thought people went to Saratoga Springs to drink water.”

“Some do, some don’t,” said Simple, “depending on if you are thirsty or not. There is no water on Congress Street, nothing but bars—Jimmie’s, Goldie’s, Hilltop House. Man, I had myself a ball. I was wild and frantic as a Halloween pumpkin, drinking cool keggie and knocking myself out. I met some fine chicks, too! The first night I was there one big fat mellow dame, looking all sweet and sweetened, started making admiration over me. I would not tell you a word of lie, she wanted to latch on to me for life.”

“Where was Joyce?”

“You know I did not take Joyce with me on no vacation,” said Simple. “I left her in Harlem. Her vacation and mine does not come at the same time anyhow, and we do not go the same places. Joyce is a quiet girl. But this old girl I met in Saratoga—oh, boy! We was sitting at the bar. She started jitterbugging right on the stool, so I introduced myself. She said, ‘Baby, play that piece again,’ which I did. Then she said, ‘Play “The Hucklebuck” about six times,’ which I also did.”

“So that’s where your money went,” I said, “right over the bar and down the juke box?”

“That’s where it went,” said Simple, “but it were worth it. This old gal looked like chocolate icing on a wagonwheel cake, partner. And I met another one looked like lemon meringue on a Sunday pie. Between the two of them I had a ball! But I come back to Harlem a week early because my money ran out. When I got home, first thing I did was go see Joyce.

“She said, ‘Baby, how come you back so soon?’

“I said, ‘Sugar, I wanted to see you’—and don’t you know, Joyce believed me! Womens is simple.

“Joyce said, ‘You sure do look tired.’

“I said, ‘It’s from just a-wearying for you, honey. I can’t stay away from you a week at a time no more without it worries me.’

“Joyce said, ‘I thought you would come back here looking all spruce and spry from drinking that sulphur water, baby.’

“But I told her, ‘That water did not agree with me. Neither did that Saratoga food. Honey, you know the best thing about a vacation is coming home. When are you going to make some biscuits?’

“Man, don’t you know Joyce went right out in the kitchen and made me some bread! I was hongry, too. Funny how fast your money can run out on a vacation.”