Back The Best of Simple
Chapters (76)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Foreword: Who Is Simple?
  5. Feet Live Their Own Life
  6. Landladies
  7. Simple Prays A Prayer
  8. Conversation on the Corner
  9. Simple on Indian Blood
  10. A Toast to Harlem
  11. Simple and His Sins
  12. Temptation
  13. Wooing the Muse
  14. Vacation
  15. Letting off Steam
  16. Jealousy
  17. Banquet in Honor
  18. A Veteran Falls
  19. High Bed
  20. Final Fear
  21. There Ought to be a Law
  22. Income Tax
  23. No Alternative
  24. Springtime
  25. Last Whipping
  26. Seeing Double
  27. Simple on Military Integration
  28. Blue Evening
  29. A Letter from Baltimore
  30. Seven Rings
  31. What Can a Man Say?
  32. Empty Room
  33. Picture for Her Dresser
  34. Cocktail Sip
  35. Apple Strudel
  36. Bop
  37. Formals and Funerals
  38. Fancy Free
  39. Midsummer Madness
  40. Morals Is Her Middle Name
  41. They Come and They Go
  42. A Million—and One
  43. Two Loving Arms
  44. All in the Family
  45. Kick for Punt
  46. Subway to Jamaica
  47. No Tea for the Fever
  48. Boys, Birds, and Bees
  49. On the Warpath
  50. A Hearty Amen
  51. Must Have a Seal
  52. Shadow of the Blues
  53. Once in a Wife-time
  54. Present for Joyce
  55. Christmas Song
  56. Tied in a Bow
  57. Sometimes I Wonder
  58. Four Rings
  59. Simply Love
  60. Bang-up Big End
  61. Duty Is Not Snooty
  62. Bones, Bombs, Chicken Necks
  63. A Dog Named Trilby
  64. Enter Cousin Minnie
  65. Radioactive Red Caps
  66. Two Sides Not Enough
  67. Puerto Ricans
  68. Minnie Again
  69. Vicious Circle
  70. Again Cousin Minnie
  71. Name in Print
  72. Minnie One More Time
  73. An Auto-Obituary
  74. Jazz, Jive, and Jam
  75. About the Author
  76. Newsletter Sign-up

“No,” said I, “because it wasn’t until Genesis 2 and 7 that God ‘formed man of the dust of the earth and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and man became a living soul.’ His name was Adam. Then He took one of Adam’s ribs and made a woman.”

“Then trouble began,” said Simple. “Thank God, they was both white.”

“How do you know Adam and Eve were white?” I asked.

“When I was a kid I seen them on the Sunday school cards,” said Simple. “Ever since I been seeing a Sunday school card, they was white. That is why I want to know where was us Negroes when the Lord said, ‘Let there be light’?”

“Oh, man, you have a color complex so bad you want to trace it back to the Bible.”

“No, I don’t. I just want to know how come Adam and Eve was white. If they had started out black, this world might not be in the fix it is today. Eve might not of paid that serpent no attention. I never did know a Negro yet that liked a snake.”

“That snake is a symbol,” I said, “a symbol of temptation and sin. And that symbol would be the same, no matter what the race.”

“I am not talking about no symbol,” said Simple. “I am talking about the day when Eve took that apple and Adam et. From then on the human race has been in trouble. There ain’t a colored woman living what would take no apple from a snake—and she better not give no snake-apples to her husband!”

“Adam and Eve are symbols, too,” I said.

“You are simple yourself,” said Simple. “But I just wish we colored folks had been somewhere around at the start. I do not know where we was when Eden was a garden, but we sure didn’t get in on none of the crops. If we had, we would not be so poor today. White folks started out ahead and they are still ahead. Look at me!”

“I am looking,” I said.

“Made in the image of God,” said Simple, “but I never did see anybody like me on a Sunday school card.”

“Probably nobody looked like you in Biblical days,” I said. “The American Negro did not exist in B.C. You’re a product of Caucasia and Africa, Harlem and Dixie. You’ve been conditioned entirely by our environment, our modern times.”

“Times have been hard,” said Simple, “but still I am a child of God.”

“In the cosmic sense, we are all children of God.”