Chapters (76)
- Title Page
- Copyright Notice
- Dedication
- Foreword: Who Is Simple?
- Feet Live Their Own Life
- Landladies
- Simple Prays A Prayer
- Conversation on the Corner
- Simple on Indian Blood
- A Toast to Harlem
- Simple and His Sins
- Temptation
- Wooing the Muse
- Vacation
- Letting off Steam
- Jealousy
- Banquet in Honor
- A Veteran Falls
- High Bed
- Final Fear
- There Ought to be a Law
- Income Tax
- No Alternative
- Springtime
- Last Whipping
- Seeing Double
- Simple on Military Integration
- Blue Evening
- A Letter from Baltimore
- Seven Rings
- What Can a Man Say?
- Empty Room
- Picture for Her Dresser
- Cocktail Sip
- Apple Strudel
- Bop
- Formals and Funerals
- Fancy Free
- Midsummer Madness
- Morals Is Her Middle Name
- They Come and They Go
- A Million—and One
- Two Loving Arms
- All in the Family
- Kick for Punt
- Subway to Jamaica
- No Tea for the Fever
- Boys, Birds, and Bees
- On the Warpath
- A Hearty Amen
- Must Have a Seal
- Shadow of the Blues
- Once in a Wife-time
- Present for Joyce
- Christmas Song
- Tied in a Bow
- Sometimes I Wonder
- Four Rings
- Simply Love
- Bang-up Big End
- Duty Is Not Snooty
- Bones, Bombs, Chicken Necks
- A Dog Named Trilby
- Enter Cousin Minnie
- Radioactive Red Caps
- Two Sides Not Enough
- Puerto Ricans
- Minnie Again
- Vicious Circle
- Again Cousin Minnie
- Name in Print
- Minnie One More Time
- An Auto-Obituary
- Jazz, Jive, and Jam
- About the Author
- Newsletter Sign-up
“No,” said Simple, “but she cannot wear licker when she goes out. I like to see my kinfolks dressed up, not looking like Gabriel’s off ox when they strolls the Avenue. Minnie is no beauty, so she needs clothes to set off what she ain’t got. I know I used to drink considerable before I got married, but I do not like to see a woman drink much—unless she is some old gal I am trying to make a quick point with—and then licker is on my side. But Minnie makes bars a habit. No wonder her boy friend has got to the place where he is about to draw back and teach her a lesson. And if Minnie thinks I am going to get mixed up in that rumble, she is wrong. No, not I!”
“You mean to say, you would not protect your cousin from force and violence on the part of a man?” I asked.
“In the first place, Minnie is not my full cousin. In the second place, I did not know she was in the world until she showed up here in Harlem claiming cousinship. In the third place, I do not know what Minnie might have done to provoke that man. Minnie might have done more than you or me can imagine. Women can drive a man sometimes to force and violence.”
“In my opinion,” I said, “there is no excuse for a man to hit a frail helpless woman, and do you mean to tell me you did not go to her rescue Sunday?”
“No.”
“Well, have you heard what happened since? Aren’t you worried? Today is Wednesday and Minnie might be annihilated by now.”
“I saw Minnie in Paddy’s Bar last night, solid as ever, setting on a stool spending somebody’s good money. I did not linger, being married, but just got a quick beer and whilst I was drinking my beer, I asked Minnie how she were.
“Minnie said, ‘Fine! Fine as wine and twice as mellow.’
“I said, ‘What about the boy friend?’
“Minnie said, ‘Oh, that old Negro is in bed asleep. The only times he comes out is Saturday night, which is the time he wants to ascertain his prerogative to fuss and fight. That is why I came to you Sunday for protection. Saturday night in Harlem ain’t no different from Saturday night in Virginia, which is everywhere the night for mens to get rambunctious. But I never did like to be threatened with no force nor violence. Of course, one of the nice things about this man is that he will tell you in front what he is liable to do. Some mens just haul off and hit you.’
“‘Suppose that was to happen to you?’ I asked Minnie.
“‘Cousin Jess, I would phone you to come and go my bail, because I would be in jail, and the man would be in Paradise,’ said Minnie.