“The right side, or the left side, are certainly enough sides for most people to sleep on. I don’t know what your trouble is. But, after all, there are two sides to every question.”

“That’s just what I am talking about,” said Simple. “Two sides are not enough. I’m tired of sleeping on either my left side, or on my right side, so I wish I had two or three more sides to change off on. Also, if I sleep on my left side, I am facing my wife, then I have to turn over to see the clock in the morning to find out what time it is. If I sleep on my right side, I am facing the window so the light wakes me up before it is time to get up. If I sleep on my back, I snores, and disturbs my wife. And my stomach is out for sleeping, due to reasons which I mentioned. In the merchant marine, sailors are always talking about the port side and the starboard side of a ship. A human should have not only a left side and a right side, but also a port side and a starboard side.”

“That’s what left and right mean in nautical terms,” I said. “You know as well as I do that a ship has only two sides.”

“Then ships are bad off as a human,” said Simple. “All a boat can do when a storm comes up, is like I do when I sleep—toss from side to side.”

“Maybe you eat too heavy a dinner,” I said, “or drink too much coffee.”

“No, I am not troubled in no digestion at night,” said Simple. “But there is one thing that I do not like in the morning—waking up to face the same old one-eyed egg Joyce has fried for breakfast. What I wish is that there was different kinds of eggs, not just white eggs with a yellow eye. There ought to be blue eggs with a brown eye, and brown eggs with a blue eye, also red eggs with green eyes.”

“If you ever woke up and saw a red egg with a green eye on your plate, you would think you had a hang-over.”

“I would,” said Simple. “But eggs is monotonous! No matter which side you turn an egg on, daddy-o, it is still an egg—hard on one side and soft on the other. Or, if you turn it over, it’s hard on both sides. Once an egg gets in the frying pan, it has only two sides, too. And if you burn the bottom side, it comes out just like the race problem, black and white, black and white.”

“I thought you’d get around to race before you got through. You can’t discuss any subject at all without bringing in color. God help you! And in reducing everything to two sides, as usual, you oversimplify.”