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Chapters (76)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Foreword: Who Is Simple?
  5. Feet Live Their Own Life
  6. Landladies
  7. Simple Prays A Prayer
  8. Conversation on the Corner
  9. Simple on Indian Blood
  10. A Toast to Harlem
  11. Simple and His Sins
  12. Temptation
  13. Wooing the Muse
  14. Vacation
  15. Letting off Steam
  16. Jealousy
  17. Banquet in Honor
  18. A Veteran Falls
  19. High Bed
  20. Final Fear
  21. There Ought to be a Law
  22. Income Tax
  23. No Alternative
  24. Springtime
  25. Last Whipping
  26. Seeing Double
  27. Simple on Military Integration
  28. Blue Evening
  29. A Letter from Baltimore
  30. Seven Rings
  31. What Can a Man Say?
  32. Empty Room
  33. Picture for Her Dresser
  34. Cocktail Sip
  35. Apple Strudel
  36. Bop
  37. Formals and Funerals
  38. Fancy Free
  39. Midsummer Madness
  40. Morals Is Her Middle Name
  41. They Come and They Go
  42. A Million—and One
  43. Two Loving Arms
  44. All in the Family
  45. Kick for Punt
  46. Subway to Jamaica
  47. No Tea for the Fever
  48. Boys, Birds, and Bees
  49. On the Warpath
  50. A Hearty Amen
  51. Must Have a Seal
  52. Shadow of the Blues
  53. Once in a Wife-time
  54. Present for Joyce
  55. Christmas Song
  56. Tied in a Bow
  57. Sometimes I Wonder
  58. Four Rings
  59. Simply Love
  60. Bang-up Big End
  61. Duty Is Not Snooty
  62. Bones, Bombs, Chicken Necks
  63. A Dog Named Trilby
  64. Enter Cousin Minnie
  65. Radioactive Red Caps
  66. Two Sides Not Enough
  67. Puerto Ricans
  68. Minnie Again
  69. Vicious Circle
  70. Again Cousin Minnie
  71. Name in Print
  72. Minnie One More Time
  73. An Auto-Obituary
  74. Jazz, Jive, and Jam
  75. About the Author
  76. Newsletter Sign-up

“I do not want no more punishment from Joyce. Last night she were so mad she turned gray. In fact, she were real mad.”

“Jealous, you mean.”

“Joyce says she would not low-rate herself by being jealous of Zarita. But what made her so mad was that Joyce knowed I must have spent some money. She wondered where did I get it, when I had just borrowed Ten Dollars from her the night before. Joyce said if she thought I had spent her money on Zarita, she would annihilate me for life. Lucky I could show Joyce my receipt where I paid my rent. It’s a good thing I had one from this time last year. My landlady do not put the year on them, just the month and the date. So Joyce thought it was a receipt for now. She don’t know I didn’t pay my rent this week.”

“I call that deceit,” I said.

“Better deceit than defeat. Now I have really got to figure out how to settle my rent. Can’t you lend me Ten Dollars?”

“You know I cannot lend anybody Ten Dollars in the middle of the week.”

“Then how on earth am I going to stay alive until I die? I cannot face my landlady.”

“Borrow back from Zarita that Ten Dollars you spent taking her to the dance. Rob Peter to pay Paul.”

“Zarita’s name ain’t Peter,” said Simple, “and my landlady’s sure ain’t Paul. In so far as concerning Zarita, who just left out of here, sometimes I wonder why God made womens like her, because I don’t understand her at all. I thought I did, but I do not believe I do. Zarita knows I go with Joyce. She knows I love Joyce. Zarita does not love me. Yet and still, Zarita is trying to make trouble between us—me and Joyce. Now why would she do that, as good as I am to that girl? I buy her a fifth of licker practically everytime I go to see her, treat her if I meet her, even take her out once in a while if I know Joyce is in bed and won’t run into us. Nice as I been to Zarita, she comes telling me tonight she is ‘thinking of telling Joyce how close we been.’ She’s done heard somewhere I’m planning to marry Joyce. Now, why would Zarita want to start some stuff?”

“Probably envious,” I said, “because Joyce is going to have a happy home and she, Zarita, will still be on the loose.”