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Chapters (76)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Foreword: Who Is Simple?
  5. Feet Live Their Own Life
  6. Landladies
  7. Simple Prays A Prayer
  8. Conversation on the Corner
  9. Simple on Indian Blood
  10. A Toast to Harlem
  11. Simple and His Sins
  12. Temptation
  13. Wooing the Muse
  14. Vacation
  15. Letting off Steam
  16. Jealousy
  17. Banquet in Honor
  18. A Veteran Falls
  19. High Bed
  20. Final Fear
  21. There Ought to be a Law
  22. Income Tax
  23. No Alternative
  24. Springtime
  25. Last Whipping
  26. Seeing Double
  27. Simple on Military Integration
  28. Blue Evening
  29. A Letter from Baltimore
  30. Seven Rings
  31. What Can a Man Say?
  32. Empty Room
  33. Picture for Her Dresser
  34. Cocktail Sip
  35. Apple Strudel
  36. Bop
  37. Formals and Funerals
  38. Fancy Free
  39. Midsummer Madness
  40. Morals Is Her Middle Name
  41. They Come and They Go
  42. A Million—and One
  43. Two Loving Arms
  44. All in the Family
  45. Kick for Punt
  46. Subway to Jamaica
  47. No Tea for the Fever
  48. Boys, Birds, and Bees
  49. On the Warpath
  50. A Hearty Amen
  51. Must Have a Seal
  52. Shadow of the Blues
  53. Once in a Wife-time
  54. Present for Joyce
  55. Christmas Song
  56. Tied in a Bow
  57. Sometimes I Wonder
  58. Four Rings
  59. Simply Love
  60. Bang-up Big End
  61. Duty Is Not Snooty
  62. Bones, Bombs, Chicken Necks
  63. A Dog Named Trilby
  64. Enter Cousin Minnie
  65. Radioactive Red Caps
  66. Two Sides Not Enough
  67. Puerto Ricans
  68. Minnie Again
  69. Vicious Circle
  70. Again Cousin Minnie
  71. Name in Print
  72. Minnie One More Time
  73. An Auto-Obituary
  74. Jazz, Jive, and Jam
  75. About the Author
  76. Newsletter Sign-up

“I see you stayed,” I said. “Yet ever so often you speak of the South with longing. You’re like those foreign people you spoke of—who come to America, but still remember home. You’re a kind of displaced person yourself.”

“I’d be a displeased person if I had to live down South again,” said Simple. “Harlem has got everything I want from A to Z Here, like the song says, ‘I have found my true love.’ Them Bal timore womens was just preliminaries, my A-B-C’s.”

“You’ve certainly told me plenty about the A-B-C’s of your love life in Baltimore,” I said, “but not too much about your X-Y-Z’s in Harlem.”

“J is as far as I go nowadays,” said Simple. “I stops with Joyce. I can’t spell with letters no further down in the alphabet than A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-O-Y-C-E.”

“Zarita begins with a Z.”

“Hers is one name I will never write on no paper. Yet and still, I likes Zarita. When you are happy, she is happy. Zarita likes to be happy with people.”

“That’s why they call women like her playgirls,” I said.

“I reckon it is,” said Simple. “And she can be a right good plaything. But don’t get me wrong, bud, I don’t love Zarita. She is always broke. And when I am hang-overed, Zarita is hang-overed. Zarita ain’t good for but one thing, to have fun with. Cherie in Baltimore was like that, too, and being young, I made the mistake of loving her. Never no more! That is not really love.”

“Just what do you call love, I’d like to know?”

“Love is—when you are broke and hungry, she says, ‘I don’t mind being hungry either.’ When you are hang-overed, she says, ‘I will put a cold towel on your head.’ When you are happy, she will say, ‘You make me happy, too.’ Instead of, ‘Why don’t you get out of here and earn me some money?’ Or, ‘How come you didn’t come home sober?’ Or, ‘I can’t see nothing to be so happy about when I ain’t got a rag to put on my back?’ Do you see what I mean by love?”

“Long-suffering,” I said.

“Exactly,” said Simple. “Some women pretends they like to suffer, but when a man is really suffering, they ain’t got no sympathy for him. Cherie runs. Isabel raised a flat-iron, even Joyce just turns cool. Don’t womens know a man’s got feelings, too, as well as they have? When you’re broke you need company. When you got a hang-over, you need sympathy. And when you’re happy, you need somebody to be happy along with you.”

“You want an angel,” I said, “not a woman.”