“Not enough if I’m being honest..” She looked down at her lap, and I noticed her lip quivering.

“I’m so sorry, Darcy,” I said, scooting closer to her and rubbing her back.

“You know what the fucked-up thing is?” She looked up at me angrily. “I thought that after we saw each other at the club, things might have possibly changed. He sounded like his old self for just a second, but I guess that was all bullshit.”

“Oh honey, it’s ok to be in love with the way things used to be,” I said, trying to comfort her. “I’m sure working for Lucio has forced him to change.”

A tear fell down her cheek. “Is it bad that I’m so angry at him for changing?”

“Not at all, sweetheart. You love this man, and he gave you so much while you were together. It’s almost as if that someone has died. What you had and what you used to be is over.”

“I hate that he did this to us, but I also understand he did it for the love of his sister. I feel like a horrible person because I hate that he chose her over me.”

“Darcy, I think…”

“Never mind, don’t answer that. I don’t want to hear that I am, in fact, a horrible person. His sister is amazing, and she is alive because of him, but at what cost to him?”

I let her rant because I knew the feeling, and the need to let it all out.

“I feel like he lost a part of himself just to keep his sister alive and now the rest of his life is screwed because of that one decision.” She took a deep breath. “God, I’m such an awful person for even saying that out loud.”

“Darcy,” I snapped, hoping to get her attention with my assertiveness. “Don’t you dare say that about yourself. If you heard half the thoughts I had after my husband and baby died, you might not have liked me either.” I took a deep breath. “I secretly hated my sister-in-law for being pregnant. When she had her baby, I was angry that she was born healthy. Why did I have to suffer when she had three perfect children? Does that make me a bad person for thinking that?”

Darcy looked up at me with understanding. “No, it doesn’t. You‘re hurting, and I think everyone goes through those feelings. It’s different..”