Chapters (47)
- Cover
- Dedication
- MAN SHORTAGE
- ADVERSITY
- BABYLON
- MERINO WOOL
- THE MONEY
- IT’S ELECTRIC
- MR. MEME
- HALFWAY IN LOVE
- THE DRY HUMPING
- BAD WEREWOLF PORN
- ACTION OVER DELIBERATION
- BUTTERMILK PIE
- SEVEN LIFETIMES
- THE HOTEL WASHINGTON TREATY
- BULL VS. COW
- ONE OF THOSE “NO” WOMEN
- MODERN WOMAN
- PLUS-ONE
- DESPITE APPEARANCES
- LOVEMAKING PRACTICE
- ENTANGLED
- CAT GIFS
- BROWN, BUT NOT TOO DARK
- CHEAT CODE
- BOILED POTATOES
- SELF-CHECKOUT
- BETTER JUDGMENT
- 8:15
- TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE
- OUTSIDE THE TENT
- OFF THE RAILS
- DATU
- CLOSED CIRCUIT
- TROJAN HORSE
- MISTER
- JOHN WAYNE
- REFINING FIRE
- EPILOGUE
- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
- NIKKI PAYNE
- DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
- Excerpt from SEX, LIES AND SENSIBILITY
- TL;DR
- About the Author
- What’s next onyour reading list?
“You are sprung, girl,” Chicho teased two days later. It was the week after Thanksgiving, and the women were seated around the large faux-leather sectional in the Bennetts’ apartment. It was a nice-enough evening that Granny wanted everyone’s help putting up the Christmas tree. Janae had sheepishly admitted that David had bought a tree for them and wanted to bring it over. David had pursued her, even when she lost heart, so Liza supposed she could grow to like him for her sister. But she was unsure if Janae had shared every part of her life with David yet. Liza hoped that David’s heart was big enough to see all of Janae, not just her beauty.
Beverly kept asking if David had “hit it” yet, and Janae deflected with the skill of a used-car salesperson. Beverly kept suggesting she and David be alone and “let whatever happens happen.”
Liza continued to alternatively string popcorn with a needle onto her Granny’s red embroidery floss and eat it out of the bowl.
“Liza, that popcorn is for the garland, not your stomach,” Granny said as she smacked at Liza’s hands.
“Then why pop the movie theatre butter flavor?” Liza shot back.
Janae tapped her phone and announced, “He’s downstairs.”
Liza and Janae began to frantically clean the living space. Bev opened her mouth to protest but begrudgingly fluffed the couch pillows and threw away LeDeya’s colony of Doritos bags. Liza finally stopped cleaning when she smelled the Glade PlugIn kick in. Country Lemon could cover a multitude of sins. The knock at the door came quickly, and the entire family including Chicho jumped into some sort of stage setting of Bennett family life.
Beverly went to the door and let out a dissatisfied grunt when she saw who was on the other side. Liza nearly choked on the popcorn kernel in her mouth. Taking up the whole doorway, dark and lean, fully bearded now and still bunned, was Dorsey Fitzgerald. He was holding the top branches of a bushy evergreen tree and returned her mother’s look of slight disappointment.