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Chapters (47)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. MAN SHORTAGE
  4. ADVERSITY
  5. BABYLON
  6. MERINO WOOL
  7. THE MONEY
  8. IT’S ELECTRIC
  9. MR. MEME
  10. HALFWAY IN LOVE
  11. THE DRY HUMPING
  12. BAD WEREWOLF PORN
  13. ACTION OVER DELIBERATION
  14. BUTTERMILK PIE
  15. SEVEN LIFETIMES
  16. THE HOTEL WASHINGTON TREATY
  17. BULL VS. COW
  18. ONE OF THOSE “NO” WOMEN
  19. MODERN WOMAN
  20. PLUS-ONE
  21. DESPITE APPEARANCES
  22. LOVEMAKING PRACTICE
  23. ENTANGLED
  24. CAT GIFS
  25. BROWN, BUT NOT TOO DARK
  26. CHEAT CODE
  27. BOILED POTATOES
  28. SELF-CHECKOUT
  29. BETTER JUDGMENT
  30. 8:15
  31. TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE
  32. OUTSIDE THE TENT
  33. OFF THE RAILS
  34. DATU
  35. CLOSED CIRCUIT
  36. TROJAN HORSE
  37. MISTER
  38. JOHN WAYNE
  39. REFINING FIRE
  40. EPILOGUE
  41. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  42. NIKKI PAYNE
  43. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  44. Excerpt from SEX, LIES AND SENSIBILITY
  45. TL;DR
  46. About the Author
  47. What’s next onyour reading list?

“You are sprung, girl,” Chicho teased two days later. It was the week after Thanksgiving, and the women were seated around the large faux-leather sectional in the Bennetts’ apartment. It was a nice-enough evening that Granny wanted everyone’s help putting up the Christmas tree. Janae had sheepishly admitted that David had bought a tree for them and wanted to bring it over. David had pursued her, even when she lost heart, so Liza supposed she could grow to like him for her sister. But she was unsure if Janae had shared every part of her life with David yet. Liza hoped that David’s heart was big enough to see all of Janae, not just her beauty.

Beverly kept asking if David had “hit it” yet, and Janae deflected with the skill of a used-car salesperson. Beverly kept suggesting she and David be alone and “let whatever happens happen.”

Liza continued to alternatively string popcorn with a needle onto her Granny’s red embroidery floss and eat it out of the bowl.

“Liza, that popcorn is for the garland, not your stomach,” Granny said as she smacked at Liza’s hands.

“Then why pop the movie theatre butter flavor?” Liza shot back.

Janae tapped her phone and announced, “He’s downstairs.”

Liza and Janae began to frantically clean the living space. Bev opened her mouth to protest but begrudgingly fluffed the couch pillows and threw away LeDeya’s colony of Doritos bags. Liza finally stopped cleaning when she smelled the Glade PlugIn kick in. Country Lemon could cover a multitude of sins. The knock at the door came quickly, and the entire family including Chicho jumped into some sort of stage setting of Bennett family life.

Beverly went to the door and let out a dissatisfied grunt when she saw who was on the other side. Liza nearly choked on the popcorn kernel in her mouth. Taking up the whole doorway, dark and lean, fully bearded now and still bunned, was Dorsey Fitzgerald. He was holding the top branches of a bushy evergreen tree and returned her mother’s look of slight disappointment.