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Chapters (47)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. MAN SHORTAGE
  4. ADVERSITY
  5. BABYLON
  6. MERINO WOOL
  7. THE MONEY
  8. IT’S ELECTRIC
  9. MR. MEME
  10. HALFWAY IN LOVE
  11. THE DRY HUMPING
  12. BAD WEREWOLF PORN
  13. ACTION OVER DELIBERATION
  14. BUTTERMILK PIE
  15. SEVEN LIFETIMES
  16. THE HOTEL WASHINGTON TREATY
  17. BULL VS. COW
  18. ONE OF THOSE “NO” WOMEN
  19. MODERN WOMAN
  20. PLUS-ONE
  21. DESPITE APPEARANCES
  22. LOVEMAKING PRACTICE
  23. ENTANGLED
  24. CAT GIFS
  25. BROWN, BUT NOT TOO DARK
  26. CHEAT CODE
  27. BOILED POTATOES
  28. SELF-CHECKOUT
  29. BETTER JUDGMENT
  30. 8:15
  31. TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE
  32. OUTSIDE THE TENT
  33. OFF THE RAILS
  34. DATU
  35. CLOSED CIRCUIT
  36. TROJAN HORSE
  37. MISTER
  38. JOHN WAYNE
  39. REFINING FIRE
  40. EPILOGUE
  41. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  42. NIKKI PAYNE
  43. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  44. Excerpt from SEX, LIES AND SENSIBILITY
  45. TL;DR
  46. About the Author
  47. What’s next onyour reading list?

“Hangover,” Liza mouthed to David, who sat in openmouthed concern. She didn’t have time to think about how to tell them about Janae’s pain. Her loss seemed like something they could never understand. It struck Liza with a sad finality that the gap between their worlds was unbreachable.

They took the ride in unpleasant silence. David tried to engage Janae and made those types of jokes that Janae loved—dad humor, just shy of corny. Liza insisted he drop them off a block away, so the truck driver didn’t have to do any tricky maneuvering out of the neighborhood. The air was chilly and wet in a way that clung to the inside of Liza’s lungs, and the sky was still a tepid gray. David hopped out of the car and walked with them to the building awning. A wet brown leaf tousled his hair, and he didn’t correct it. They crunched through knee-high snow, hardened at the top with sleet. David was sweet and incredibly compassionate. An ungracious pang of jealousy shot through Liza at the type of attention her sister inspired. Perhaps if she were prettier, less prickly even, she could elicit that type of unquestioning devotion.

“Here we are. Thank you, David,” Liza said.

“Thanks,” Janae said. She sounded like a phone operator, distant and staticky and dispassionate. David nodded curtly, as if he were suddenly understanding something, and patted Janae’s back.

“You two are fine from here?” David asked, his eyes searching hers earnestly.

“Yes!” Liza almost pushed him down the street.

Janae gave him a weak and watery smile. “Keep warm,” she mumbled.

Liza hustled them inside and leaned against the door to the foyer. She exhaled and pulled Janae close to her.

It was the last the Bennetts would see of them for sure.

BUTTERMILK PIE

We have a special guest with us today! Longbourne’s own golden boy, Colin Gruthers.” Liza leaned on the applause button. “You may remember he was interviewed by Channel 4 when he won no less than four scholarships to top universities. I don’t remember which ones, but he certainly does and will let you know repeatedly exactly who he turned down to strive for the gold.

“He graduated middle of his class at Drexel. He is the author of Up from Nothing: The Harrowing Tale of Escape from Southeast DC, for sale exclusively out of his trunk. He just recently won a bid for local office in Virginia. You can call him City Councilman Gruthers, but to me, he’s the same ol’ pain in the ass.” Liza leaned on the laughter button.

“Well, thanks, Liza. I appreciate the brief introduction. There are quite a few things that you left out of that intro, including the fact that I was geography bee champion in middle school and that I’m working on a second book entitled Can’t Hold Me Down: Getting to the Top with No Sacrifice.”