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Back Pride and Protest Save as PDF
Chapters (47)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. MAN SHORTAGE
  4. ADVERSITY
  5. BABYLON
  6. MERINO WOOL
  7. THE MONEY
  8. IT’S ELECTRIC
  9. MR. MEME
  10. HALFWAY IN LOVE
  11. THE DRY HUMPING
  12. BAD WEREWOLF PORN
  13. ACTION OVER DELIBERATION
  14. BUTTERMILK PIE
  15. SEVEN LIFETIMES
  16. THE HOTEL WASHINGTON TREATY
  17. BULL VS. COW
  18. ONE OF THOSE “NO” WOMEN
  19. MODERN WOMAN
  20. PLUS-ONE
  21. DESPITE APPEARANCES
  22. LOVEMAKING PRACTICE
  23. ENTANGLED
  24. CAT GIFS
  25. BROWN, BUT NOT TOO DARK
  26. CHEAT CODE
  27. BOILED POTATOES
  28. SELF-CHECKOUT
  29. BETTER JUDGMENT
  30. 8:15
  31. TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE
  32. OUTSIDE THE TENT
  33. OFF THE RAILS
  34. DATU
  35. CLOSED CIRCUIT
  36. TROJAN HORSE
  37. MISTER
  38. JOHN WAYNE
  39. REFINING FIRE
  40. EPILOGUE
  41. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  42. NIKKI PAYNE
  43. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  44. Excerpt from SEX, LIES AND SENSIBILITY
  45. TL;DR
  46. About the Author
  47. What’s next onyour reading list?

“Excuse me if I don’t take self-help advice from you. This time next week, I’ll be in the damn PTA and making three times your salary.” Chicho stormed out of the room, and Liza’s face fell. It wasn’t until she heard the front door slam that she allowed herself to cry. She pulled out her phone and shot off a text to Dorsey. She didn’t know why she thought of him first. Why did her thumbs hover over his number in her phone all the time now? She just needed a different kind of interaction.

Question number 20: What does friendship mean to you?

Liza wiped her eyes to see the phone clearly. Three wavering dots appeared.

Having someone you can show your scars to without their judgment.

Someone who shows up for you when you’re emotionally, physically exhausted.

Someone you can laugh with so hard you fart and pee a little.

pile of poo

She laughed an ugly-crying laugh and drifted off to sleep.

CHEAT CODE

Back, somehow, by popular demand, is Longbourne’s own Colin Gruthers, self-published author of Up from Nothing. Colin, I believe congratulations are in order? You found the best girl in the neighborhood and put a ring on it?” Liza turned her face away from the mic. She didn’t want him misreading her anger.

“Yes, asking Lucia Ochoa to marry me is the best thing I’ve ever done. I’ve tried these other neighborhood women. They all seemed to be dazzled by my persona, not seeing the real me. I daresay even you got the jitters when I sat down to chat with you.” His oily giggle made her stomach turn.

“By jitters, do you mean reservations?” Liza pressed the applause button and put her hand over the mic. “Do not press your luck, Colin.”

His green eyes flashed, and his smile flattened. “All jokes, folks, all jokes,” he said. “But I have a question for the host, if I can turn the tables a bit. Where are these perfect men that our high-minded sisters are holding out for? I see sisters eating alone and passing up a free meal. For what? I just don’t get the psychology of it. What would make a person say no when they have absolutely nothing else going for them?” He had the decency to avoid eye contact with her. Was this man’s help on the proposal worth two appearances on her show? Liza was rethinking her strategy.

“So women should be grateful for any man’s attention if they are single?” Liza clipped through her teeth.

“If she’s single, and she’s not all that.” Colin laughed.

“Can you believe this gem’s all snatched up, ladies? Mediocre single women! He’s taken and we missed our chance to grovel.” Liza cut the feed.