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Chapters (57)
  1. Cover
  2. Title
  3. Dedication
  4. Dedication2
  5. 1994
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. 12
  18. 13
  19. 14
  20. 15
  21. 16
  22. 17
  23. 2006
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 2018
  45. 38
  46. 39
  47. 40
  48. 41
  49. 42
  50. 43
  51. 44
  52. 45
  53. 46
  54. 47
  55. 48
  56. 49
  57. Acknowledgements

‘Yeah,’ Peggy said. They both closed their eyes so they couldn’t see themself looking back at them. They wanted to feel what it was like to be alone for a minute. Just for experiment’s sake, and they were on the estuary and it was years ago, before the rainy night that was actually early in the morning and maybe not rainy at all. For a heartbeat, there was only one of them. One woman standing beside the estuary, watching a flock of birds fly in a murmuration like one breathing thing.

‘We could invite someone,’ Greta said. They had their eyes open now. ‘Like, to come with us.’ She was smiling in the mirror but only with her mouth, trying to see her gums. All their gums were getting better.

‘Yeah,’ Peggy said. ‘But we’ll probably go by ourselves.’ She spat into the sink.

‘Yeah,’ Greta said, standing back now, looking at their teeth in a usual grin. ‘Probably.’

‘Thank god for you,’ Peggy said.

‘Thank god,’ Greta said.

15

15

In the weeks before, it felt like the Workbridge appointment would never come, but finally it was tomorrow. Peggy and Greta couldn’t settle and were flighty at work, and at meetings they didn’t hear a thing. The appointment would be a game-changer. They would be on their way. They would get on the graphic design course and then they would get a job and they would get some money and they might even move overseas or get a big apartment in town. Their bodies rang out with the possibilities and how great their life would be after the appointment. They got home and were pacing and talking and talking and talking. Heidi said, ‘Do you need to call Diane?’ They thought yeah, maybe they could tell Diane how great everything was going to be. Maybe Diane could give them some hints about how to get exactly what they wanted.

Diane said maybe they shouldn’t think too much about what might happen. Maybe the appointment wouldn’t turn up anything. Maybe something else would happen. No matter what happened at the appointment, they were in the right place now, which suggested they’d be in the right place afterwards, no matter how disappointed in the outcome they might feel. No matter how happy they might be. That’s how it worked. You were where you were meant to be, because that’s where you were.

‘What about war?’ Peggy asked.

‘There’s powers much bigger than us,’ Diane said. ‘Weather, gravity, time. And they land us where they land us. We are where we’re meant to be because that’s where we are.’ It sounded like Diane was eating on the other end of the phone.

Peggy and Greta’s heads were touching. They held the handset so they could both hear. The coil cord ran back to the wall between them.

‘What about rape?’ Greta asked.