BooksBarbecue
Back Nothing to See Save as PDF
Chapters (57)
  1. Cover
  2. Title
  3. Dedication
  4. Dedication2
  5. 1994
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. 12
  18. 13
  19. 14
  20. 15
  21. 16
  22. 17
  23. 2006
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 2018
  45. 38
  46. 39
  47. 40
  48. 41
  49. 42
  50. 43
  51. 44
  52. 45
  53. 46
  54. 47
  55. 48
  56. 49
  57. Acknowledgements

They talked to her for about an hour, Peggy holding the phone so they could get both their ears to the receiver. They cried. They were happy to be back. Together, with Diane, they decided they needed to contact Tyra, and tell her where they were, in case she wanted to press charges. They needed to say they were sorry, out of line. And then they needed to shut up and hear what she had to say and then they had to wait until she decided what she wanted to do. They had to try better and ask to be given the strength to do better. Ask the god they didn’t believe in – the one they had no idea what shape it took – to try to take away their anger, their quickness to anger, their rage, and help show them a better way to deal with disappointment and fear. They all agreed it was the best way to find some happiness. That it was the best way to deal with a situation that no one could change, now. Before the receiver was back in its cradle Peggy and Greta started to doubt it. They would do it, but they cried again because this was where they had come to. ‘Eunuchs,’ Greta said, and they cried some more. They’d been someone to be frightened of and now this – apologies. Putting themselves in clear sight of their enemies. Where was their life? They looked around the small, damp flat. Where was the life they got to choose? How had it come to this? They’d had no life before and now they had this. Life was long. They both knew it, and then they found the address book and rang someone who knew the phone number for someone else who knew the number for Tyra who they had punched and they called her and she swore at them and told them they were fucking psychotic and hung up. So, before they went to bed they found all their bank stuff and information stuff and put it in an envelope in their bag, in case they were taken away quickly by the police. Then they slept so well, tucked up, not knowing where they stood, but knowing what they had done and who they were.

5

5

The next morning they were all in the kitchen. Dell was trying to get ready for work. She was holding it down at work. No one had noticed Heidi wasn’t coming in anymore. Their boss told her a couple of days ago how proud she was of both of them for making a go of it. Dell said she’d pass it on to Heidi.

‘You can’t keep lying like that,’ Peggy said.