Back Nothing to See
Chapters (57)
  1. Cover
  2. Title
  3. Dedication
  4. Dedication2
  5. 1994
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. 12
  18. 13
  19. 14
  20. 15
  21. 16
  22. 17
  23. 2006
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 2018
  45. 38
  46. 39
  47. 40
  48. 41
  49. 42
  50. 43
  51. 44
  52. 45
  53. 46
  54. 47
  55. 48
  56. 49
  57. Acknowledgements

Greta looked at Peggy, and Peggy at Greta. People were missing. Everywhere. People were missing and coming back and coming back different. Who knew what had been settled into Peggy and Greta’s minds as they interacted with the broader level? Who knew what they’d forgotten? What they were able to ignore? Across the table from them, Dell looked sober but sad. Ash had stopped playing with the Tamagotchi phone and was eating the cake they had made.

Bisi slid the Tamagotchi phone towards Dell. ‘We’ve just been laughing at this,’ she said.

‘Oh,’ Dell said.

‘They’ve had it for years,’ Bisi said.

‘They take it everywhere,’ said Ash.

‘And they’ve been hiding it,’ Bisi laughed. ‘They found it under their bed in that old flat. Remember the old flat?’

‘I wasn’t there,’ Dell said, her mouth full of cake, like she was starving.

‘But there’s no interesting story at all,’ Ash laughed again.

‘Nothing to see here,’ said Greta.

‘Then why did you lie?’ Dell asked.

Peggy shrugged her shoulders. ‘I have no idea.’ And they all laughed again.

‘We never do,’ Greta said.

Then Bisi touched Greta and Peggy on the arm at the same time. ‘Cheer up. We’re only joking.’

Dell was still eating cake, not saying anything at all. Not even her body was in the conversation. She was eating with one hand and scrolling through her phone with the other. Like she was trying to catch up on everything she’d missed.

The night carried on and they talked about things while Dell ate and looked at her phone, and Greta and Peggy leaned into each other like they used to.

‘I’m off to bed,’ Dell said. No one really stopped what they were doing, but they all said goodnight.

As Dell stood up, Heidi held out her hand, which stopped Dell. Under her breath she said, ‘Fuck.’ She dug into her sweatshirt pocket and handed the Tamagotchi phone back to Peggy and Greta, who put it deep in their bag. Dell picked up some plates and went into the kitchen. Peggy and Greta followed her, picking up some of the other plates. In the kitchen, Dell was still looking at her phone.

‘Nice night,’ Peggy said.

‘Mm,’ Dell replied.

‘How have you been?’ Greta asked.

‘Fine.’ But Dell never lifted her face from her phone.

‘How long have you lived here?’ It sounded good in their head, but now that Greta had said it out loud it sounded so obvious. Dell looked up, because it sounded like a shriek to her too. ‘Like, in the house,’ Greta said. ‘We were just trying to remember.’

Dell shrugged. ‘Not long,’ she said.

‘Where were you before that, again?’ Peggy was rinsing plates, watching the chocolate dissolve off them. She’d made the cake that afternoon. In her kitchen by herself – they both had.