Heidi nodded and looked at her soup again. ‘Do you, though?’ she said, and she sort of waved her hand. ‘Really it’s just going back to normal. The way they’ve been pretending it is this whole time.’

‘Do you think?’

‘I think this has definitely happened before,’ Heidi said.

‘Like this, though?’

‘Probably,’ said Heidi. ‘It was like this the first time.’

Margaret didn’t say anything.

‘You’re not that special,’ Heidi said.

‘No,’ she laughed. ‘Probably not.’ They both laughed.

‘It must have.’ And then Heidi stopped eating for a moment. ‘Really,’ she said, ‘you’re living the dream.’

Margaret laughed like she was an actor in a play.

‘Like, it’ll be bad for a while.’ Heidi leaned forward slightly, like she was confiding in her, or supporting her. ‘But, eventually, it won’t be tough, and you’ll get over it and then . . .’ she wiped her hand in between them both like she was wiping away something on glass, clearing a space, clearing it all away.

Margaret let her spoon sit in the soup and looked behind Heidi. She wanted her to think she was thinking about it. But she didn’t need to. Probably nothing would be right ever again. ‘You’re probably right,’ she said, and knew she could never talk to Heidi about it again. Heidi had no idea.

‘Maybe it won’t be perfect,’ Heidi said. ‘But there are a lot of advantages.’ Heidi meant administratively. She was talking about money and sex. Dell hadn’t been around for a long time and she was only present in Heidi’s life through barriers and problems.

Margaret, the name, sat strangely on her. She panicked that maybe she’d been too fast to take it on again. That maybe the other two would be back. That if she was Margaret the other two wouldn’t be able to find her because there’d be no room. Others must have disappeared – died, been killed, moved as far away as they could, which was never very far. Some must have gone mad and been incarcerated. Twelve years later, more of them must be living in ones than living in twos. That was also the nature of human beings. To split up, to live independently of anyone else.

‘Yeah,’ Margaret said. ‘You’re probably right.’

‘You just need to leave work. Fuck, most people at meetings don’t even notice. Everyone’s worried about themselves.’

‘Diane doesn’t want to know.’

‘Diane can’t get her head around it. People have spent over a decade trying to ignore it. We never talk to anyone about it except each other and yeah, you can’t spook the horses, but they’ll forget. They’ve been trying to forget for twelve years. They don’t want to know. No one wants to know and that’s why this will be a seamless transition to better living.’