Coach leans forward on his desk, hands clasped together. “Your job. You get on the ice and into the zone and play your ass off until we win, and then you get to go home and be with your family.” He makes it sound so simple. But getting in the zone is hard when every time I focus my mind goes back to the moment I felt that kick on my hand and it knocks me out of it all over again.

“I just wish they were here,” I tell him truthfully, my voice a whisper.

I notice Coach’s eyebrows are less of a frown, and his face is awash with sympathy. “I’m sorry, son. But there’s nothing we can do about that.” At least he genuinely looks like he feels bad for me, Coach Mitch isn’t the type of man to blow up my ego just for the sake of it. “What we can do is win so you go home to a celebration. Look, this is the last game of the season and then you have months to love on your girl, just get through tonight,” he urges.

“Sorry, Coach.” I know he is right, each minute the puck drop gets closer.

Coach leans back in his chair again before bellowing, “Let’s go play some hockey!”

All I can think about is skating onto the ice and seeing everyone’s families smiling at them except mine. The only other person in my boat is Edge, but that’s because he doesn’t talk to his family much any more. Not since his dad died anyway.

I know that it’s unfair to want Ellis here. She has her life to plan, and coming to a hockey game is a very large deviation from that plan. I knew when we decided to co-parent that our lives would revolve around whatever she needed because she will be the lead caregiver. She’ll be there every day, doing everything, while I play hockey. I would never fault her for that.

On top of the parenting responsibilities, I think about the other challenges she faces. Ellis never chose to have fibromyalgia. Life took away that choice, so I give her as much choice as I can with how we are going to be working together going forward. Even if I wish she chooses differently sometimes.

We haven’t even spoken about the near kiss last week, but I can’t deny that it is another thing keeping me distracted. I wanted nothing more than to kiss her, to show her how I feel about her, but I know in my heart that she doesn’t want that. Ellis is being ruled by her hormones, and I need to be the level-headed one when all I want to do is take her to bed and not let her leave until she is addicted to me.