Then you get pregnant, and suddenly a lot of the work you have done to better yourself gets thrown out of the window. That carefully selected medication plan is tossed because of how much medication can harm the baby, and you’re forced to decide what to sacrifice to help your baby develop while also needing something to help you survive your day. The other stuff is easier to continue; eating well is the easiest to maintain. Jack is not a picky eater (thank god) so he’s good with pretty much anything I make.

Each morning, I make breakfast before I wake up Jack so that I can take my medications and give them enough time to start to work. One of the first things I did when those two little lines popped up – both before and now – was book an appointment with my doctor to figure out what I can still take and what I have to give up.

Despite my feelings towards it, objectively from a medical stance, it would have been a lot easier on my body to not go through with this pregnancy. One reason I did was because of Eleanor. When I was young and being ignored by her, I wanted a big family that I could love and surround myself with, the life I want to believe my dad would have wanted for me. Long before I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I wanted a family. I still want to be able to live the life I always dreamed about, despite my limitations.

By the time I finish eating my breakfast it’s time for Jack to wake up and get ready for school. After some groans and arguments about what shoes he’s going to wear, we’re finally out the door.

Once I wave Jack goodbye, watching him disappear through the school doors, I immediately switch into business mode. Having my own business was another one of my childhood wishes, right alongside having a family. But I never expected to truly have both – or to make another family at my business.

Lyndsey has worked with me for nearly six years, and she is the sister I never had. After all this time we have developed a routine of our own. I open the shop after dropping Jack off and start getting everything ready for the day. I begin by checking deliveries that need to be made each day and taking any dead flowers off the shop floor. I spend some time answering query emails about pricing – for funerals, for weddings, for boyfriends begging forgiveness.

Lyndsey starts her shift at two p.m. when I leave to pick up Jack and works through the afternoon until we close. Liam came into the shop when he got back from Vegas and the poor girl nearly passed out from excitement. Not only is Lyndsey a huge Spears fan, she’s also a straight woman – and a man like Liam sure makes an impression.