I needed to distract the kids for an hour while she worked. Jack played with his remote-control car, driving it into me while laughing maniacally while Charlotte had tummy time next to our Christmas tree. My little girl is enamoured with the twinkling lights. It is the first time I have ever had a tree, I am usually travelling so it felt pointless. Not this year. This year I have gone all out. Garlands and snowflakes, elf statues and reindeers. If I could fit it through the door it is here. My phone pings on and off every few minutes but I don’t bother looking because I know what’s there. Everyone asking what the plan is. But I just don’t know.

I thought it would be easy, slip out of the house while Ellis slept, buy a ring and be home before lunch. Now lunch is slowly approaching and I am still here.

Ellis eventually comes out of the office while I am giving Charlotte her bottle and even with my simmering anxiety this is one of my favourite things about being a father. The way her lips suckle at the bottle and her eyes slip shut in contentment makes me feel like I’m holding an angel.

Her hair is coming in more every day and it wisps at my arm where I cradle her. She gripes and grumbles while I burp her.

“I’m going to put her down, being up half the night is catching up with her,” I tell Ellis and she pecks my lips as we pass. “Why don’t you try napping while she does, that is what all the books said to do?”

“I am sleepy… work is hard when you haven’t slept.” She yawns. She takes a softly snoring Charlotte from my arms and walks up the stairs while I stare after her. “Oh, and take Jack with you wherever you are trying to sneak off to,” she adds.

My mouth falls open. She knows I am up to something and Jack is going to blow my cover. I love him, but that kid is not known for keeping a secret. No kid is, but he isn’t exactly a prime engagement-ring shopping guest. There is nowhere else I can take him though. Maybe Rook can distract him outside whatever jewellers we end up at so he has plausible deniability.

“Jack!” I call him and straight away I hear him stampede towards me.

“Are we going out?” he asks.

“Yeah, bud, but I need you to make me a promise.” I kneel down to his level keeping my voice low in case Sunshine thinks of eavesdropping.

“Okay!” he stage whispers.

“I am buying a gift for your mom but it is a secret gift so you can’t tell her what we buy okay?”

“Will you buy me McDonald’s?” he whispers again. The cheeky little troublemaker is blackmailing me. And it’s working.

“Fine.” I am resigned.