She thinks I’m putting up a fight to look like a good guy not kicking her out. I forget that Ellis is so used to men not showing her what love means. To me at least love means I want to see her as often as I can, hear about her day and help her with her troubles, knowing she will help me with mine.

“I can’t rest without you! If you guys aren’t here I’m just going to drive myself crazy with what I’m missing. I’m already going to miss so much when I’m travelling, don’t make me miss even more.” I beg, and I pout, full on puppy-dog eyes. Not very masculine but it gets Ellis to smile at me, which is always a win.

“Liam sweetheart, I love you. I will love you here and I will love you if I move out. I guess I thought you would like having your own space,” she admits. I knew it! My sweet Sunshine always thinking everyone is better off if she is away from them, she couldn’t be more wrong.

“I want zero space. No space.” I know I sound like a toddler asking for his favourite toy but I don’t care, at least I make Ellis laugh.

“Baby hormones and no sleep just make me feel like we are burdening you. I know how important hockey is to you, I just don’t want to be in the way.”

I hold Ellis’s face in both of my hands so she knows I mean what I am about to say.

“El, look, I’ve been thinking, and this is going to be my last season. I’m going to miss so much over the next seven months if not more, and I don’t want to miss any more than I have to. When my contract is up, I’m not signing a new one,” I finally admit.

When Ellis was pregnant I thought about stepping off the ice for good. Now, it’s becoming a reality. Now I can see what my life will be if I am not around for my family.

“Liam.” Ellis sighs deeply but I kiss her before she can tell me I’m making a mistake by hanging up my skates.

“I’ve thought about it a lot, I swear, it’s not some rash decision. I want to be an involved dad, maybe help coach kids who want to get into ice hockey – it’ll give me time to help with science projects and bake sales and whatever else happens with the kids, I want it all.” I kiss her again just because I like kissing her and she drops her forehead to mine.

“Fuck, you are so damn perfect for me Mr Ruinsky,” she says throwing her leg over mine so she is straddling me before burying herself into my chest.