I see his eyes look away for a moment in contemplation. He suddenly stops, pulling away abruptly. “I’m taking Jack to school, you need to rest remember?” He tells me. Was the suggestion so wrong? Did I offend him? I flop myself back against the pillowcase with a dramatic sigh, trying to shake the feeling.

“I’ve missed you.” I pout.

“Sorry, Sunshine,” he says lightly before leaving the room.

The rejection was completely reasonable, but I can’t help but feel like something is off. And I think it’s starting to become obvious what that is. Liam wants more than whatever we have right now. But honestly, I’m just not ready to give into that yet. Is it what I really want? I said I was his, and part of me meant it. Part of me always will.

But despite all the green flags he shows me, I can’t get rid of the idea of the red ones that might turn up in the future. When my heart tells me to stay, my head is telling me to run.

Liam and I being a family and raising our kids is apparently Liam’s goal. But there are so many variables he isn’t considering. There is so much more to this life than just a happy ever after, and I’m not prepared to be heartbroken again. No, I can only have him in one way – the only way to protect my feelings. We just need to fuck each other. Channel whatever chemistry and passion we have that way. Just one time.

Maybe twice.

I thought it would be sexy. I’m sprawled on the master bed in the only lingerie that I could get over my bump. A baby pink satin teddy with lace being the only covering on my boobs, the knickers are just as scandalous, crotchless baby pink lace with satin ties on either side.

Though he might not even see them – I can’t see them over my belly – in my head this plan is fool proof: Liam walks in to check on me to see me posed and ready for him with a list of pros and cons where there are no cons to him fucking me. Perfect.

Except now I’m worried I just look like an undercooked chicken, pink fabric on my stretched pale skin.

Originally I wanted to wear my black lacy set but it was way too small on my swollen boobs, I looked like a cut of meat stuffed into lace. Pink teddy was the best option other than stark naked.

It’s too late to back down now as I hear Liam’s heavy footfall coming up the stairs. I scrape together as much confidence as I can when the door creaks open.

“Fuck me, Sunshine.” He’s stock still in the doorway, his jaw on the floor. Maybe this is going to work out after all.