He searches the bushes and climbs the apple tree, and I just watch because it’s harder to enjoy yourself when it’s cold.

Eventually, I say, “Come on. It’s time to go inside,” and Will pretends he can’t hear me.

When he does it to Mum or Dad, it’s funny, but my cheeks are tingling. And I’m a bit annoyed because Mum’s still not back and it’s been ages.

“Come on!” I shout, but he doesn’t come.

When he was a baby, we’d say, “We’re going now,” and he’d chase after us and shout, “No, no, no.” But now he knows the difference between real threats and pretend ones, and that’s a problem when you want him to behave.

I could go and get him, but then he’d cry so I say, “I’m going inside,” and I don’t look back.

I can see him from the patio doors. He knows I’m watching because, sometimes, he checks, just to be sure, then carries on playing Creatures.

My phone pings, and it’s a message from Kasia saying,

I’m bored. What you doing?

And I smile because it feels like everyone is bored and it’s my job to entertain them. I take my phone back to the windows so I can reply, but Will’s gone.

I run outside and shout his name, but he doesn’t answer, so I look in all the places we hide. He’s not in the shed or the garage or the bushes. He’s not anywhere. I go back inside and check his bedroom and the bathroom and every other room, and my heart is beating too fast. It hurts in my chest, and I start to cry because I’m in charge and he’s not here.

“Will!” I yell, inside and out. “Where are you?”

That’s when I see it, and I’m happy because I know where he is. I look through the hole in the fence and call his name again.

“I know you’re in there, William. Are you looking for the queen?”

I climb through the hole and look left and right, but all I can hear is the pumping station humming and water sloshing.

And then I see him.

IIII II

He’s doing that thing again where he pretends he can’t hear me. He has his head down, and he’s moving funny. And that’s when I realize he’s in the water.

“Will,” I whisper because, sometimes, he listens better when you’re quiet. But he doesn’t look up, he just moves from side to side. It sounds like he’s in the bath, except there are no toys and it’s cold, and my brother still has his face in the water.