Everything was tinged with sorrow, and her happiness was temporary. But it was there, and I wish I’d made more of it.

I think I loved her, and maybe I still do. And that makes what we’re trying so much harder. If we catch Jane, we catch all of them.

We could have walked away. We could ignore the big home on the corner like we ignore all the other houses on our street. We could forget in order to feel safe. Except we’ll never feel safe and we’ll never feel happy. How can we when we know the truth about a mystery the police called a tragic accident?

Logan Connolly’s mum thinks her son was washed away. But the tide comes in eventually.

When I go downstairs, Mum is at the table.

I don’t do this in secret now. She watches me in silence, even when I check the back door twenty times because there’s a hole in the fence, and Jane could fit through if she tried.

I haven’t told Mum my biggest fear: that, on the day the Pearces handed over the keys to our new home, they kept one for themselves. As if she could read my mind, she asked Jay to fit bolts, but the thought still fills me with dread.

When I’m done, I kiss Mum’s cheek, and she smiles but doesn’t move.

I close my bedroom door and slide the lock across. The one I bought to prove my theory—now I use it, just in case.

92

I can’t message Amy in case Jane has her phone, so I do something else and hope it works.

The sign on my window says: WE ALL NEED A HEAD START SOMETIMES.

Even if Jane sees it, she won’t know what it means; not unless Amy told her.

I keep thinking about what she said the day Aaron went missing.

“I didn’t walk away because I wanted you to find out. Maybe that way this would be over, if we actually took responsibility and Logan went home…”

Amy wants this to end, and I want to help her. But I’m still terrified about how it could play out. If things go wrong, I might never see her again. And, if they go right, we might not get the chance to say goodbye.

That’s why I leave the note by the head-start line. If anyone else finds it, it will be nonsense.

I wish we didn’t have secrets and could have just been whatever you wanted us to be. I wish I hadn’t pushed you so much to answer questions you must have hated. I’m sorry. I’m thinking of you. Please write back x

I don’t know if Amy will find it, but I have to try. I need to know that she’s all right and hasn’t been hurt or locked in.