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The sounds don’t stop when Mum goes downstairs, they just change. Logan cries, and I bury my head under the pillow and try to think of other things, but it doesn’t work.

I thought I only felt guilty because of Will, but I’m not sure now. What if there are some things you can’t make better, no matter how hard you try?

Sometimes I’d talk to my brother when he was supposed to be sleeping. We would say funny words that sounded even funnier through the wallpaper, and he would still be giggling when Mum went into his room and sang him back to sleep.

I could talk to Logan the same way and tell him not to cry, but I don’t.

I’m scared because Mum said this would make everything better. She said some people needed saving, and the boy in Will’s bedroom was one of them.

I didn’t want our family to break, so I did what she said, but it’s still breaking.

Eventually, the crying stops, but, if I listen carefully, I can hear something else. Logan is mumbling and then shouting and then screaming. He screams the same word over and over again.

“Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!”

But I don’t think the one that comes is the one he wants.

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The days make the nights feel like lies.

In the morning, the boy sits by Will’s toys like nothing’s wrong, but that’s all he does. He doesn’t play or bring things to life like my brother did. It’s like he’s sitting in a waiting room and the toys around him are strangers.

I think of the noises he makes in the dark and move next to him.

“Are you okay?” I ask, and he nods because Mum gets angry when he’s not.

I want to ask him things I’m too afraid to say out loud. I could tell him about Will, but that’s against the rules. And what would I say?

I think I’ve made another mistake. I should have listened to the voice that said, “Stop!” but it was a tiny voice, and Mum was louder.

She said it was my fault, and it was, but so is this. I want to make it right because, if I miss Will this much, surely Logan’s mum misses him. I know she let him disappear, but we all make mistakes, and I can change this one. I can give Logan back, and Mum will be angry, but he’s not hers.

The lock is just a lock that slides in and out. There’s no key or secret code, because Mum trusts me, but maybe she shouldn’t.

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