I don’t know what that means, but I now know there’s a truth to be found. And, if no one else can help me, I’ll find it myself. There’s a puzzle to be solved, and it feels like I’m missing the central piece, so I stare from my window until my eyes sting. I watch every movement and every tiny flicker of curtain.

From this far away, the Pearces are living their life like a game of charades, and it’s my job to put words to their actions.

“Tom!”

I turn to see Mum in the doorway. “I’ve been calling you.”

“Sorry…I was…”

“We’re going shopping. I think you should come.”

I look back at Amy’s house and say, “I’m fine here.”

Mum touches my shoulder. “This isn’t healthy, sweetheart. I know what you’re doing. And you need a break.”

I start to blush and she says, “It’s okay. If you want to be absolutely certain nothing bad happened here, that’s fine. But let’s have some time out. I’d like you to come.”

I try to think of another excuse, but Mum knows me better than anyone. She could make me feel guilty for spying on Amy or stupid for worrying, and I’m grateful that she doesn’t.

“OK,” I say. “I’ll come.”

And, ten minutes later, we’re in the car, Nia on her phone next to me and Mum and Jay chatting in the front.

My stepsister is only here for the lift; she’ll disappear the moment we reach the shopping center. But Mum’s right; I need to get out of the house, if only to clear my head. My thoughts have gotten so knotted that I need space to unravel them. And then I can figure out how to solve this once and for all.

When we arrive, Jay says, “Where do you want to go first?” Nia is already off with Esther, and I saw his disappointment when she left with barely a word.

I could disappear, too, but my stepdad looks at me expectantly and I say, “Wherever you want.”

“Okay,” Jay says, and, next to him, Mum mouths, Thank you.

We used to talk like strangers stuck in a lift, but it’s easier, now, even if I can still see the nerves behind Jay’s questions. He wants me to like him, and I do.

The men that try too hard at the beginning are often the worst by the end.

For the next hour, I follow Mum and Jay into their favorite places and smile whenever they look over.