“What the fuck, Mae? That’s not gonna happen. She’s not your bio mom—Jesus.”

“Really? Because the woman who gave birth to me was the kind of person whose entire life was defined by the drugs she couldn’t stop taking.” And then I say the thing I probably shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. Micah’s being incredibly dense right now. “Listen. I don’t know what Hannah would have chosen to do if she hadn’t been on drugs. I really don’t. And I’m not sure she does, either.”

He’s quiet for a long time. Then he says, “I can’t even believe you’re saying this right now. She’s seventeen, Mae. We didn’t want a kid.”

“You didn’t want a kid. Don’t put words into my sister’s mouth.”

“Oh, so if you got pregnant right now, Mae, you’d have it? You’d give up NASA?”

“No. I don’t want a kid now or ever, and I wouldn’t give up NASA.”

“You’d have an abortion.”

“Yes.”

“But you’re judging Hannah for having one?”

“No. Are you even listening to me? I’M NOT HANNAH. We want different things in life! Micah, you scored a fourteen-ninety on the SAT—why is this so difficult to understand?”

He lets out a frustrated growl, which alerts me that I am now having to reason with a caveman.

“This is all beside the point,” Micah says, after a minute. “The pills—she’s just … dealing, Mae. In the only way she can right now. I know you’re not into that scene, but, trust me, her problem is not a problem anymore. This is different. I trust her.”

“She’s not dealing, Micah, that’s what I’m telling you,” I say. “And if she’s telling you that and you trust her, then she’s manipulating you and/or lying to herself. You should trust ME, the person who occupies the same physical SPACE as her. The SOBER PERSON on the ground.”

“Look, I bet it’s just your cousin hooking her up. Tell him to stop giving her pills. Problem solved. If her supply runs dry, then she’ll—”

“Nate would never give her something like that,” I say. “Plus, he’s not into that crap. He’s an actual rocket scientist. He has better things to do than get high.”

He’s rolling his eyes. I can tell. I can hear. “Then someone at school gave them to her.”

“She doesn’t know anyone.”

“Look,” he says, “she’s got some kind of hookup, Mae—someone is dealing to her. That’s the only way to get pills like that.”

“A dealer? Like, a drug dealer? No. That’s … No.”