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Back Little Universes Save as PDF
Chapters (63)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. Part 1
  6. Mae
  7. Hannah
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. 21
  29. 22
  30. 23
  31. 24
  32. Part 2
  33. 25
  34. 26
  35. 27
  36. 28
  37. 29
  38. 30
  39. 31
  40. 32
  41. 33
  42. 34
  43. 35
  44. 36
  45. 37
  46. 38
  47. Part 3
  48. 39
  49. 40
  50. 41
  51. 42
  52. 43
  53. 44
  54. 45
  55. 46
  56. 47
  57. 48
  58. Epilogue
  59. Mental Health Resources
  60. Acknowledgments
  61. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  62. About the Author
  63. Newsletter Sign-up

If I close my eyes, I can hear Mom reading us The Little Prince. It was always Mae’s favorite because it’s about space and planets and stars. It was always my favorite because it’s a love story.

It’s about this boy, the Little Prince, who lives on an asteroid. He’s got itchy feet. He wants to see the world. And there’s this rose on his planet and she’s kind of high-maintenance, so he ditches her and goes exploring the universe. But it’s not all it was cracked up to be. The universe. It’s full of all these funky planets that he’s not into, with the kind of people you meet on the boardwalk every day—dropouts and weirdos. Then he lands on Earth and meets a downed pilot—which to me feels like stranger danger, but it ends up being all good—and the Little Prince is sad because he realizes he does love his thorny rose, even though she’s needy as fuck. He wants to go back to his asteroid and be with her, only now he’s stuck on Earth.

See, in order to get back to where she is on Asteroid B-612—their planet—he has to get bitten by a poisonous snake. Supposedly he gets back to his asteroid and his rose at the end, but honestly? I’m not really sure the Little Prince is alive—I think he has to let the snake kill him so he can leave Earth. I think the pilot is telling his story to keep his memory alive. Don’t take my word for that. I got a D in English last semester.

But the reason this story is everything to me is because the Little Prince loves his rose so much that he’s willing to die for her. I want to be loved like that. I want a boy like him.

Micah should have come. To the clinic. To be with me. He should have come. If there were a wave like the wave and we were on the beach, he’d probably run as fast as he could. Leave me behind when I slow down. He already said he’d do that, didn’t he? I can’t carry you.

The sun spreads over me, and I close my eyes against the light. It hurts. So does the remembering.

I am seven, and Mae and I are lying on either side of Mom on the pull-out bed in the living room at Gram and Papa’s house on the Cape. We are squished against each other, and I breathe in Mom’s faint rose scent, which reminds me exactly of Gram’s garden of wild beach roses. Mae and I each hold a flashlight so Mom can see the words in the book.

“It is such a secret place,” Mom murmurs, “the land of tears.”