“I’m going to get some coffee, even though caffeine intake at two in the morning is not advisable.” Mae glances at Jo, her smile turning into a little smirk. Attitude looks good on her. “She’s all yours.”

She and Jo high-five each other as she leaves the room, then Jo crosses to my bed. She flicks her long straight bangs out of her eyes then waits there, still as the Charles on a windless day.

“You were right,” I say. “The only thing I was hiding from was myself.”

Jo slides her backpack off and sits on the edge of the bed. “Lay it on me, sister.”

“When my aunt and uncle said they were leaving, that freaked me the hell out. I mean, I know they offered to let me go with them and I wouldn’t be homeless, but I felt like I’d be homeless. You know?”

She nods. “Walk me through your thought process.”

“Even before I saw the Realtor, I was upset. Because we graduate next month and I don’t know what to do with my life. Having a sister like Mae just makes adulting hard. Because it’s like, no matter what I do, I feel like a lame-ass failure. She’s literally going to be a rocket scientist.”

“What Mae is going to be is irrelevant. What do you want? Who will you be?”

I have thought this question so many times, but it’s different hearing it now, after everything that happened tonight. When I faced down the wave and decided to ride it.

“I want to be happy.”

“What does happy look like?”

I close my eyes. And there it is: the little house, the garden, yoga, making soup. Kids and chili night, I put a spell on you, Drew.

“Having a family,” I whisper. “Being a mom and just loving. Being loved. Maybe fostering some kids, like Mae was. I basically just want to be my mom—the Hannah version of her. But…”

“But what?”

“It’s so retrograde. I mean, who says their goal in life is to be a freaking housewife?”

“Dude, fuck what anyone thinks.” She shakes her head. “You know, I love certain things about the time we live in. I love that even though my parents are mad conservative, they’ve had to accept I have a girlfriend. I love that I get to vote and that women can run for president. I love that Beyoncé is in the world. You know what I mean?”

I nod.

“But…” Jo reaches into her jacket and frowns. “Okay, this is a conversation to be had over cigarettes. Ugh.”

I laugh. Addicts, man. We do our best.