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Back Little Universes Save as PDF
Chapters (63)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. Part 1
  6. Mae
  7. Hannah
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. 21
  29. 22
  30. 23
  31. 24
  32. Part 2
  33. 25
  34. 26
  35. 27
  36. 28
  37. 29
  38. 30
  39. 31
  40. 32
  41. 33
  42. 34
  43. 35
  44. 36
  45. 37
  46. 38
  47. Part 3
  48. 39
  49. 40
  50. 41
  51. 42
  52. 43
  53. 44
  54. 45
  55. 46
  56. 47
  57. 48
  58. Epilogue
  59. Mental Health Resources
  60. Acknowledgments
  61. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  62. About the Author
  63. Newsletter Sign-up

This year, it just hurts too much to sit around the table. All those empty places. And knowing that, this year, maybe Dad’s place would have been empty, anyway. Even if there hadn’t been a wave.

I can’t think about him. I can’t. When I do, everything inside me goes completely dark. I become a black hole, too.

I wonder what Rebecca Chen is doing. And the wondering grows, because I think about my baby sister or brother and how it’d be really unfair if they were punished for what Dad did.

So I do something that surprises me, something spontaneous. Rash, even. I go to my room and send the email I’ve been writing and rewriting since my birthday, since I found out the truth about Dad and Rebecca, since Aunt Nora said, You don’t have to worry about that.

My Brother or Sister 3:17 PM (November 28th)

Mae Winters <[email protected]>

Rebecca Chen <[email protected]>

I know what happened. My sister found all your emails with my dad. I’m writing you because I don’t want this brother or sister I’m going to have to be punished for the poor choices of adults who forgot about the Butterfly Effect. This child deserves to know they have two sisters and that he or she or they are not alone in the universe. I want to be very clear: I think you’re a bad person for what you did. I think my dad is, too. My family is hurting right now even more because of this. You should know that. Also, my mom knew about the two of you when she died. She was found in a mass grave earlier this month, alone.

I would like to be notified when my brother or sister is born. And I’d like to have updates and be part of their life in some way, because they deserve that, and Hannah and I do, too.

Mae Winters

I don’t think I’m being disloyal to Mom by sending this email. I think she’d understand. She’d never want a kid to be hurt over something they can’t control.

In the late afternoon, we make our plates and sit in front of the TV. Just me and Aunt Nora, Uncle Tony, Nate. We don’t watch Harry. We watch White Christmas. A little early in the Winters holiday calendar, but I’m glad we do. Bing and Danny and “the girls”—I like the little cobbled-together family they decide to make at that Vermont inn. Strange, how a building falling down in a war zone can bring lonely people together. The Sisters bit makes me sad, though.